Reflections

July 2021 Reflections

So I’m actually starting this post on July 17th because quite frankly, I’ve had so much on my mind that I completely forgot to write anything. But I’m DETERMINED to start this new “habit” so I’m starting today – I have my mood tracker in my bullet journal to look back on and elaborate on but who knows, maybe I’ll make something up. I’ll leave it up to you to guess whether is really happened or not.

And my right eye will NOT stop watering and it’s really starting to annoy me – also – I hope my false eyelash doesn’t come off because there is nothing worse than a wonky eyelash. Well, there are worse things and yes, I wear false eyelashes.

July 2: The nurse I work with – her youngest daughter – was “exposed” to COVID though it’s unsure whether someone actually contracted COVID or if Bonnie’s husband, first cousin’s friend had it. Her daughter wasn’t sick but she still had to self-isolate for ten days which meant my nurse and her husband had to scramble to figure out who was going to stay home with her and who was going to go to work. I’m so glad we don’t have small children in this day and age. Not just when it comes to COVID and the fact that parents are having to fight to even get their children in the door of schools and who knows what it will look like this Fall, but because of all the of the crap that school boards and unions are trying so hard to shove down children’s throats to start indoctrinating them to a certain way of thinking thereby molding them into voters who will vote for their crazy agendas in the future. I honestly think, if we were raising our boys in today’s society, we would yank them out of school and homeschool them. I know that’s not an option for many people because – bills – but if you can swing it, I would encourage you to give it a hard look – for your children’s sake.

I’m starting to find my groove with Dr. S’s clinics. I’m starting to get to know her a bit better and understand her preferences. As a result, her clinics are running better and she seems more relaxed and happy, at least, I hope so. Her patients, though, are needy and demanding. And it’s largely because she’s had team members in the past who weren’t firm and allowed themselves to be bullied into bending the rules. Look. People will be people and if you give someone an inch, they will likely take a mile. Not everyone, thank God, MOST people are great and it’s a pleasure to take care of them but there are the select few who will throw a fit and just be rude and nasty primarily because it’s worked for them in the past and why stop doing what works? Nope. That’s not going to work for me. There’s a new sheriff in town and I will do everything I can to help you but you will NOT bully me.

Period.

July 4: This is Blake’s favorite holiday. He loves blowing things up, lol. However, our July 4th has changed over the years and now we’re downright boring. We used to go to my in-laws who lived on the outskirts of town, with a bag full of fireworks and shoot them off but with my in-laws getting older and needing a smaller, more easily accessible place to live, we no longer have anywhere to go shoot off fireworks and so we stopped buying them.

The boys, my nephew, LeRoy and my parents came over and Kevin cooked steak burgers. They are the best hamburgers and by far my favorite. We had a nice dinner together and some great conversation and it was really nice to see my parents in the flesh – the hugs were pretty great, too. In fact, every time my mom hugged anyone my dad would say, “now you have the Rona.” Every time I think back on this past year and the fear we succumbed to it just makes me SO ANGRY. Never again.

After dinner, we went to a parking lot across the street from a nearby country club and mooched off their fireworks. The weather was perfect and we had excellent seats – we had a front row seat. And the fireworks were great – the ones at the end of the show looked 3D, like they were coming right for you. It was a lot of fun.

July 7th: The whole COVID experimental injectable thing is really starting to ramp up at work. Cases are on the rise and we have quite a few people in the hospital now with COVID. The hospital “claims” it’s due to the Delta variant that 100% of the patients in the hospital are not vaccinated but I find it hard to believe. I find it hard to believe anything “experts” say nowadays since these same “experts” keep changing their story every other day. It’s hard to know what’s true and what’s agenda. I still find it so fascinating, in a horror-kind of way, the sheer PUSH to get people vaccinated. Almost to the point it feels like desperation. Which makes me ask the question – why?? When you look at all the data, look at all sides of the issue, all of this for a disease that is not that serious for the majority of people? I’m not saying it’s not real, I’m not saying it’s not serious for some people, but the majority of people get through it fairly well … and there are medications and treatments that have proven effective to help combat the symptoms if given early on – why get a vaccine given this information? People are pushing vaccines in the hopes that life will get back to normal – news flash – it’s not. The hysteria and the lockdowns from this past year has changed our country. And the more people BULLY others to try and get this experimental injectable the more people are hesitant to get it.

And when the CEO of our hospital comes out with tweets telling people that DARE TO QUESTION THE EXPERTS to , SHUT UP, and then come out and say that the employees at our hospital that are hesitant to get something we don’t agree with and don’t know what it contains injected into our arms are hesitant because we’re not as educated as say, our doctors, is truly insulting.

That hesitation almost correlates directly with your educational level in our organization,” he said. “So our doctors have least hesitation. And lesser educated people have a higher hesitation. We get that it is very complicated.”

You arrogant piece of shit.

And on top of all of that, our competing hospital announced they are mandating the vaccine for their employees and they have until September 30th to get it done. The hospital I work for hasn’t mandated it yet, but it’s coming. It would be naïve of me to think it’s not happening soon. And on one hand, I get it, it’s a medical facility, they don’t want to inadvertently infect someone in the hospital when they are already vulnerable but what about MY rights? Is this something that I have to forfeit because I work there?

So, I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’m busy planning and plotting my next move. I’ve been very distracted and that’s the biggest reason I haven’t blogged much this month, or participated in the July Camp NaNoWriMo – I just don’t have the desire to create anything right now when my reality has been tilted on its axis.

July 9: Very disgruntled at work. Everything and everyone is annoying me. It’s like my eyes have been open and I feel like I already have one foot in and one foot out of this hospital. I’m mentally preparing myself to make changes though I’ve done very little as to actually make that happen. It’s not that I hope it won’t happen, it’s happening, I’m just trying to figure out the best course of action and timing is everything, quite honestly. Kevin is 100% backing me in whatever I decide to do. He thinks I should quit now while the job market is hot, and I don’t disagree with him, but I’m leaning more to waiting until they actually make an announcement. I’m so conflicted!

July 10: Kevin and I did something on our bucket list – we went and reserved our grave plots today. Ha! I know, how weird and morbid and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with COVID. We’re getting older, though we hope we have decades of living still left to do before we fall asleep, and it’s time to start thinking about where we want to be buried and to start paying for it as we don’t want to saddle our boys with the cost of our funeral. This all started with Kevin and LeRoy going out to visit Nanny’s grave, (LeRoy’s adopted mom), along with Kevin’s parents to pay their respects. While they were there, Kevin’s parents talked about their plots and how they would love it if the family would choose to be buried with the rest of the family. This got Kevin to thinking about our conversation, because we’ve had quite a few over the years, of where we wanted to be buried and to have it completely paid for before the day of our death. As it so happened, there were plots available near his parents so he came home to talk to me about it.

The whole subject makes me squirm because it’s so uncomfortable and morbid but death is a fact of life and we can’t pretend it’s not going to happen at some point. (Hopefully, not for DECADES to come). Before I wanted to give my consent, I wanted to talk to our boys and to my parents. My parents said they would likely be buried in a National cemetery since my dad was in the Army and the boys could care less what we decided or where we would be buried. It’s hard for them to think about that kind of thing because they’re in their mid-20’s and you feel immortal when you’re that age. So, we made an appointment and talked to the funeral .. representative. (I don’t know if they have an official name – this is new territory to me, give me a break!)

The girl we spoke with was very nice and even made us laugh telling us about a March Madness sale they had. I have no idea what death and sports have in common but their products were 40% off and we told her if they had any other kind of “promotions” like that to let us know because let’s fact it, 40% off caskets would be a good deal.

We have now reserved our plots. We know where we will be buried. It feels weird but it’s something we needed to do because you just never know what sort of curveball life will throw at you. We’re not scared of death, primarily because we’re saved and believe that Christ will come back to raise us from the dead, but we’re not welcoming it with open arms either. I think that’s one reason why people are so freaked out about this COVID crap – because they don’t have hope for the future. I find that sad, quite honestly.

Get saved – it’s easy.

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