So let’s wrap this Love Dare thing up, shall we?
What did you think? Did you learn anything about yourself? Have you made a commitment to try some of these things in your relationship? If you want things to get better, SOMEONE has to make the first move, why not you?
Kevin and I are approaching our 30th wedding anniversary.
THIRTY YEARS TOGETHER.
Wow. We must be doing something right. But again, we’re not perfect, then or now, and we have spider crawled through mud and barbwire to get to this place, but we’re here and still together.
Our marriage has reached the empty nester / twilight years, now. The boys are long gone, they moved out five/six years ago, and Kevin and I have reconnected once again. We have grown comfortable with each other and work on spending time together, but we also understand that we each need time away from each other.
It’s normal and healthy.
We see very little of each other during the week. I often work late and by the time I get home, Kevin is at LeRoy’s house across the street in his “workshop” and working on all sorts of projects. I’m usually so exhausted by the time I get home from work the last thing I want to do is go somewhere, do something, TALK. He knows this and respects this. He knows I need space to “recharge” and he gives it to me. He’s not always happy with my request to be left alone, but he respects it.
And because he’s so patient with me during the week, we have a standing date on Friday and Saturday nights where we have dinner together, go grocery shopping and/or any other thing we need or want to do.
We find ways to reconnect and it works for us.
He is very patient with me and I try not to abuse that patience. I’m not the easiest person to get along with in the best of circumstances, let alone when things go down the shitter at work and I’m stressed and in high demand. Everyone wants something from me at work, and I’m happy to give as much as I”m capable of, but it does take a toll on me, so by the time I get home, I’m mentally TAPPED OUT.
But. That’s no excuse NOT to give time to Kevin. He deserves my time as well and that’s the point where we talk about it and make “deals.” That way, the problem has been taken out, aired, acknowledged, examined and dealt with so we are both in agreement moving forward.
I don’t expect him to know what I’m thinking and feeling, and the same goes for him. Our communication has gotten LOADS better and now we peacefully co-exist. I make sure and ask for time off at work and we use that pocket of time to plan trips together or simply DO something together.
We respect each other’s need for space and we make a conscious effort to spend time together. – it works.
I honestly, in my bones, feel like the “Fireproof” movie and the Love Dare were two things that really changed who I am, how I perceive myself and my marriage. I’m very grateful that I stumbled across the Love Dare when I did. Who knows where our marriage would have ended up if I hadn’t?
I truly hope learning about the Love Dare has blessed you and that it strengthens your marriage and brings peace to your lives.
Thanks for sticking around and sifting through my dirty laundry with me. It’s never easy publicly displaying your flaws.