I’m answering Simple Mom’s reflection questions over at (In)Courage today because it’s waaaay easier than trying to sum up my year on my own.
I’m lazy like that. 🙂
*Thanks to Jen at Momma Blogs A Lot for the head’s up.
___________________________
1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
I’d have to say our cruise to the Western Caribbean. This was me and Kevin’s second cruise, the boys’ first. We booked the boys their own cabin so they were free to do their own thing on the boat and it was well worth the extra money. We had a blast.
We’re on a mission to top our family vacations every year. I wonder what we’ll do this year?
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Probably Kevin losing his job. Well, he didn’t lose it, per se, the company had to liquidate because they couldn’t obtain funding (none of the banks would loan them money – instead of using that wonderful stimulus money to help stimulate the economy, they held onto it and bought interests in flailing banks thereby growing their profit margins. Yeah, don’t get me started).
I think this might be a blessing in disguise though. Kevin now has the opportunity to try something new and different, which he’s been wanting to do for quite some time, and it also gives me an opportunity to find a job outside the home (I currently work from home, but business has been slow).
We refuse to look at this as a setback, but rather as an opportunity.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Jazz’s first high school band experience. I don’t know if it’s my inner musical self struggling to break free or what, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole band thing in September and October.
I’m a die-hard band mom now and I’m really looking forward to the next three years of band competitions.
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Me. For some reason, that I can’t really explain, I was my own worst enemy this year. I just couldn’t seem to summon up the motivation required to GET ANYTHING DONE this year and that frustrates and angers me more than I can say.
I think I’ve been a little depressed this year. I’ve fallen into a rut and it’s time to shake things up a bit. And the fact that I’ve allowed myself to fall into this funk really ticks me off because if there is one thing I can’t stomach, it’s self-imposed weakness.
5. Pick three words to describe 2009.
Growth. Stagnant. Depressing.
(Yes. I realize that sounds contradicting but, well, there you go).
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).
Unproductive. Self-serving. Frustrating.
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).
Challenging. Stressful. Frustrating.
8. What were the best books you read this year?
According to how I rated the books I read in 2009, it looks like Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards and The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger were my favorites.
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
Definitely my boys. The older they get, the more they “get” me. And the more they “get” me, the more relaxed I am with them. Our relationship these past years has definitely been rocky, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I.E. the end of the teenage years.
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Sadly, none. I can honestly say that I don’t feel like I challenged myself too much this past year. I’ve been complacent, lackluster, and downright lazy.
I’m more determined than ever to make changes in my life this year.
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
I grow emotionally nearly every day. I’m constantly challenging aspects of my personality and trying to BE a better person. I’m working on it.
I can honestly say that I believe I’m a much better person than I have ever been. I’m still pretty opinionated, egotistical and judgmental, but I’m learning that life? Is not always black and white, no matter how much I try and tell myself that.
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
I think I’ve grown by leaps and bounds spiritually this year. I worked up the courage to post articles from the ministry that we follow, the Truth or Tradition ministry. This ministry works hard to teach people what the Bible says and how that often directly contradicts what “tradition” dictates.
I think it’s opened me up spiritually and I feel closer, and more comfortable, with God.
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
I’m not sure how to interpret this question. I’ve pretty much been the same size, physically, for a number of years now. I think I have finally reached a point in my life that I’m comfortable with my physical appearance.
In fact, I plan on writing an entire post about exercising and finding that “comfort” zone.
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I’ve always been pretty tight with my immediate family. Kevin and I are stronger than ever and I’ve mentioned that I feel like I’ve grown closer to my boys.
Not so with my extended family. I feel our relationships have been grown apart and I think some of that stems from hurtful feelings and loss of respect.
I wish I could go into detail, but we’ll just have to leave it at that.
I will say, though, that I regret some things, but that overall, I think I’ve accepted that that’s just the way it is, I guess.
15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?
I’m not a homemaker. Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom and I maintain websites from my home, I do not enjoy staying home. It’s lonely. I’m lonely. I’ve never aspired to be a SAHM and in some ways, I resent it. Though I’m very, very grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to stay home and watch the boys grow and have had a direct hand in shaping their personalities, there is still a part of me that misses not aggressively pursuing a career.
As a result of feeling this way, I have not been a very good homemaker. In fact, it’s safe to say, I downright stink at it. I’ve taken advantage of my husband and my feelings of resentment have colored my parenting skills at times.
I had the chance to be a really good homemaker, but I blew it. And I can quite honestly say, I don’t enjoy keeping house and have virtually no interest in making our home physically better. I’m content to just be comfortable and “make due.”
This is an area I definitely need to work on.
16. What was your most challenging area of home management?
With that said, I care about our home and want it to look nice. Our home is over 30 years old and it’s time to update and improve some areas. Kevin and I have sat down and made a list of things we’d like to improve around the house this year beginning with floors and kitchen.
I think the most challenging part of this venture is our different tastes. Kevin and I rarely agree on design styles and as a result, I tend to just give in because it’s easier. In some ways, I resent that, I think. Which may also account for my lousy homemaker skills.
It’ll be interesting to see how we handle these home improvements this year.
Correction: It’ll be interesting to see how I handle the home improvements this year.
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Absolutely, positively, no doubt about it, the Internet. My blog and just recently, Twitter. I have to get control of this area of my life. It’s gotten out of control and in some ways, has really stunted my life in many areas.
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Generally speaking, I’m a multi-tasker. So even though I’ve been on Twitter an INSANE amount of time, and have been paying an INSANE amount of attention to my blog, I have gotten other work done. I think better when I have several things going at once. But I definitely need to control my distractions a little (A LOT) better.
19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
That I need to keep my big mouth shut. Just because it’s on my mind, just because I want to say it, just because I CAN say it, doesn’t necessarily mean I SHOULD say it.
I’m DONE putting my foot in my mouth. I have made a deal with myself, I will think before I blurt and/or simply say nothing at all.
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.
Thank God the nightmare is over. (This was Kevin’s statement when I asked him to sum up his year).
Thank God for my family. (Is my summary).
Write From Karen 