Category: At the Moment

At the Moment, Life

Remember COVID?

Karen

It’s hard to believe that we’re coming up on four years post-COVID. In some ways, it seems like it happened ten years ago, in some ways, it feels like it’s still happening, on some level.

I know a lot of people have mixed, and strong, feelings about the man-made pandemic, and that’s okay. We all have unique experiences, we all went through some very uncomfortable, sad and in some cases, horrific times. All I can relay about COVID is my personal experience and my personal thoughts and opinions – feel free to agree, or disagree. We’re all unique individuals and are entitled to process traumas in different ways. My way of thinking is not right, your way of thinking is not wrong – but my goal is to process these sorts of events with my eyes wide open.

I hope you will, too.

To catch those up just joining us, (thanks for the subscribes, by the way!), I work in healthcare. I used to be a medical assistant in Neurosurgery, yes, brain surgeons, and it was the most challenging, and the most rewarding, experience of my life. I did that for 12 years. Now, I work from home with the precertification department, meaning, I run testing, like MRI’s, CT’s, and other testing, through the patient’s insurance company to make sure they know about the test and agree to pay their portion of the bill.

It sounds boring because it is boring, but it’s a necessary step in patient care.

Health insurance – now that’s a topic for another day.

As you can imagine, working in healthcare during the height of COVID was … challenging. Especially since I didn’t agree with the vaccine mandates, and still don’t agree with vaccine mandates, (they have since lifted the COVID vaccine mandate at my hospital – is anyone shocked?). and to me, it made zero sense to subject myself to an experimental vaccine for a disease that had a 99% recovery rate for healthy people. I had to fight the hospital. I filed a religious exemption and was denied. I then appealed it and to my utter surprise, it was approved. I really think that by the time I appealed my exemption, the hospital was bleeding employees, they were leaving because they didn’t want to get the jab, and the hospital felt like they couldn’t lose anymore employees and approved me.

I’m quite sure it wasn’t because I was a valuable employee, it all came down to numbers – let’s not kid ourselves.

Anyway. I ended up staying. Filed a religious exemption against the annual flu vaccination, which is still a requirement to this day, and they approved that, too. And as long as they continue approving my exemptions, I’m happy to continue working for this company.

Now that COVID is behind us, for the most part, a lot of really disturbing information has come out about the experimental jab. “Vaccine injuries,” they are calling it. In many cases, people have died from the complications of the injection, whether you want to admit it not, it’s been happening.

I subscribe to an email newsletter: Coffee and COVID. Jeff is a lawyer and it’s interesting to get a legal slant on the COVID madness surrounding us.

“The pandemic is behind us, but the propaganda, the psyops, and the relentless drumbeat of bad news continues. My mission is to deliver truth and light in an entertaining and optimistic way that you can safely share with people you love who haven’t yet seen the light.” says Jeff.

It’s also refreshing to keep on top of the COVID fallout because have you heard any follow up news about COVID in the, (MSM), main-stream media?

I didn’t think so.

Jeff also writes witty, and informative, opinions and takes on all of the other craziness in the world right now, too. He often brings a smile to my face. I highly recommend his newsletter.

I don’t bring all of this up to scare you, though it is scary to read about, but to inform you – there is a lot of crap that is going on in the world and you can’t count on the MSM to inform you. It’s better to know what we’re dealing with so we can come up with a realistic defense if/when it directly impacts our personal worlds – again.

Ignorance is NOT always bliss.

Here is an interview between Tucker Carlson and Bret Weinstein. I really enjoy listening to Bret, I feel smart if I’m able to keep up with his commentary, (ha!), and though there are some things I disagree with him about, I do appreciate how he takes the time to articulate his point-of-view and with how thorough he analyzes an issue. This interview is Bret’s take on the WHO’s plan to force everyone to give up their bodily autonomy and hand it over to the WHO on a silver platter so they can dictate what is “good” for us and of course, the good of the people in general. It’s scary stuff and something you would read in a story like “1984” and yet, here we are. It’s worth a listen.

A few thoughts:

“Pharma is healthy when people are sick.” A lot can be said for this simple statement but in a nutshell, Pharma is big business and in order for them to stay in business, they need people to remain sick. If that doesn’t rock any trust you might have had in pharmaceuticals, or the healthcare industry as a whole, you’re really not paying attention. It’s a shame that COVID damaged healthcare so much, but perhaps we should have been paying closer attention to what Pharma has been doing all along.

“Pharma created something truly beautiful with the mRNA technology.” Interesting. I never really thought that the technology could be used for good. And perhaps at some point in time, it might be able to manipulate people’s DNA, trick it, into repurposing cells to help the body’s natural way of producing what it needs to produce but for some reason doesn’t produce, like insulin, as Bret suggests. I suppose the question would be, would Pharma be motivated to use their “beautiful” technology for something like that? I guess it depends on how much the profit margin would be.

The part about your heart not repairing itself … didn’t really surprise me but alarmed me. I wonder how many people know this? Once our heart is damaged, it’s damaged forever and if your heart is not pumping at full capacity, then it will ultimately shorten your life. His hypothesis on why these athletes have been collapsing on the fields because they’re likely pushing damaged hearts to the limit makes perfect sense, too. The fact that these “vaccines” targeted the hearts of so many, and that so many people’s lives have been and will be, impacted by this government over reach … it’s truly mind blowing when you look at the big picture. These people that pushed this crap on to us, that ruined so many lives, that killed so many people, truly should be in jail. It’s pure evil what they have done to people.

The fact that Pharma thought they had the media in their back pocket and were confident they could sell us anything they wanted to sell us because the media would have their backs was also very telling. And the fact that it was podcasts, Elon Musk buying Twitter, and alterative platforms and news sites like Rumble and NewsMax that thwarted their plans also demonstrates how crucial it is to have alterative sources to go to. Because if we allow MSM to control the flow of information … think how much power they would have over us. It’s mind boggling, and terrifying, honestly.

“The measures that would have allowed them to silence the podcasters, to mandate various things internationally in a way that would prevent the emergence of a controlled group that would allow us to see harms clearly, that’s the reason I think that people, that want to move on from thinking about COVID, maybe stop thinking of COVID, but do start thinking about what has taken place in respect to medicine, public health, Pharma and ask yourself the question, given what you now know would you want to relive the COVID pandemic without the tools that allowed you to ultimately in the end see clearly that it didn’t make sense to take another one of these shots, or your kids to take the shots, we want those tools, in fact we need the tools,”

In a nutshell, Bret is saying that we had enough tools, THIS TIME, at our disposal during COVID to push enough doubt in enough people and then to spread this doubt, that we were able to push back on the narrative so that it stopped the hemorrhage from being fatal. If we had not had those tools, that dissension, I’m betting our world would look a whole lot different right about now. This is why it’s CRUCIAL that you get your news from different sources. You can’t trust anything anyone tells you so it’s up to you to use due diligence and educate yourself on what is truly happening so that you can make informed decisions when it comes to you and your family.

Pay special attention to what Bret says about what the WHO is proposing to do if/when another pandemic happens. The WHO is trying to give itself authority to tell you what you can and not take, to demand that you take what it thinks you need, to doctor documents so that you may not travel freely if you do not conform to their demands and to box you in so tightly that you can not live a free life. You will be at the mercy of those that are doing what is “right” for the “greater good.” However, because we have these tools, these voices and platforms that dare to speak out, to ask questions, to bring these evil agendas to people’s attention, the WHO was forced to back off and lie to the camera in order to dilute it’s intentions.

For now.

This, THIS, is why we must never forget COVID. Because if we forget what they did, what they are trying to do to do to us when future tragedies strike, it will make it that much easier to squash us under their thumbs like the ants they think we are.

Don’t forget what they did. NEVER FORGET.

Thanks for reading.

At the Moment, Food, Life, Politics

Playing Chicken

Karen

Dude – we got chickens.

When Kevin first proposed getting chickens I thought he was joking. But then when he looked me in the eye and told me he was serious, I thought he had lost his mind.

Chickens? I don’t like animals, why would we get chickens?!

And before you animal lovers sit back, cross your arms and sniff in disdain, I didn’t say I hate animals, I don’t like animals. I don’t like owning them. I don’t like how noisy, smelly and costly they are. I don’t like the work it requires to take care of them. Call me lazy, I won’t argue, but I like animals if someone else owns them.

Kevin wanted to get chickens for a few reasons:

  1. He wanted to see if he could raise chickens. He wanted the challenge. He’s crazy like that.
  2. He was curious to see what it would take to raise chickens – what kind of food would they eat? Where would he house them? Could he keep them alive and safe from predators?
  3. If, (when), the world goes to Hell in a handbasket, was he capable of being self-sufficient enough to provide for his family?

We’ve always been fascinated by people who live off grid. What a life that must be! To actually set yourself up in a house, away from the city, and build an energy infrastructure so you didn’t have to rely on the government for power, sewer, water … to grow your own food so that you didn’t have to rely on artificial preservatives, grocery stores … TAXES.

I watched a few YouTubers that have done exactly that – built a life for themselves completely off grid. It looks like a lot of work, (remember – I’m inherently lazy) and wow – you spend all of your waking moments thinking about where your next meal is going to come from and making sure you have enough basic supplies to live semi-comfortably.

But I could do it. I wouldn’t WANT to do it, but I COULD do it. And I KNOW Kevin could do it. In fact, I think he would THRIVE on it because he’s one of those men who thrive on challenges and has the smarts to just figure it out. He’s one of the best problem solvers I’ve ever met in my life. He’s also very handy and can pretty much figure out how to build, or how to fix, anything.

He’s a Jack-of-all-trades kind of man.

I think anticipating the world to end might have been the biggest deciding factor to actually buying the chickens. In case you haven’t been paying attention to all of these food plants catching fire, the skyrocketing price of food and how the government has started the subliminal, (and perhaps not so subliminal) message of EAT BUGS, THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU campaign, it feels a little like our government is trying to starve us out of a hostage situation.

Not to mention, the crap – the additives, the preservatives – the government puts in our food and water, (like Fluoride in our water), “for our health” and well, you have to wonder if that is one of the many reasons people are sick and need medications.

(Medications means Big Pharma – ah – definitely a topic for another day).

But, back to the chickens.

He bought six chickens. And Oh. My. Gosh. They were SO CUTE when they were little!!! Cheeping away in the box he set up for them. Sunning themselves under the heat lamp. Kevin watched a lot of YouTube videos and spoke to some people at the Farm/Feed stores about how to care for the chickens. He worked hard to make sure they were well cared for and they thrived.

He did have one, the runt in the group, that wasn’t growing as fast as the others and when he did some research he learned that the runt had “poopy butt.”

And henceforth, that was the chick’s name, by the way.

Sometimes chicks will not be able to drop their poop and it sticks to their butts. As you can imagine, this causes problems and some chickens die if it’s not dealt with. So. Kevin went in and dug the poop out and the chicken not only survived, he/she thrived.

He’s nothing if not committed. Ha!

The chicks stayed in their box for a few weeks (?) and then graduated to a bigger, plastic tub and stayed in the tub for another few weeks (?), (I’m estimating the time here because I didn’t really pay much attention to his “projects”), while he worked to make a “home” for them.

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned that they currently live at the rental house across the street from us. The same house that LeRoy and the boys are currently living in. Not sure how the boys actually felt about co-habituating with chickens, I think they reacted to dad’s “experiment” the same way as me, just shook their heads and moved on with their lives, but that’s where they live now.

The rental house has a fenced in back yard and a shed. (It also has a pool which I worried about – what if the chickens fall in? Can they swim? Will the chemicals morph them into a science fiction character?). So he worked on making the shed into their home. He made a little door for them to go in/out and some ladder thingie for them to roost on when they got larger. He rigged up some sort of contraption for them to get water from, (like a pipe with holes in it), though ultimately I think he figured out it didn’t work that great. But my point is, he built them a home and when they were finally big enough to let out of the plastic tub and run around the backyard, they were living like chicken kings and queens.

We watched them grow up into ugly, red chickens. And then we watched with bated breath to see how many, if any, roosters we may have had because believe it or not, you can’t really tell right away.

I was especially nervous about the roosters because we live within the city limits and we’re not supposed to have roosters within the city limits. Now usually I’m not a big government rule kind of girl but this one I understood – our neighbors would not appreciate waking up every morning to a chorus of crowing roosters, I’m sure.

I didn’t want to wake up to a chorus of crowing roosters.

Kevin started experimenting with what to feed them. He often took our leftovers (a bucket we fondly labeled, the slop bucket), over to the chickens to see if they would eat it. They pretty much ate everything but they didn’t like watermelon or carrots but they LOVED bread.

Chickens after my own heart. Ha!

And of course, they LOVE bugs. In fact, quite by accident, Kevin had a bucket underneath an outside house light when he discovered that the bugs that swarm these lights at night would drop into this bucket, (I guess because they got too close to the light??), and for some reason, couldn’t figure out how to get out so by the next day, the bottom of the bucket was full of live bugs.

Kevin would take that bucket to them, dump the bugs on the ground and the chickens had a bug smorgasbord – they went NUTS for it.

As I said, they live like chicken kings/queens. It’s also a great way to get rid of the bugs.

Fast forward – the chicks grew up and we didn’t have one, two, or even three roosters, we had FIVE. So, five out of the six chicks he bought were roosters which meant we had to get rid of them. He advertised them on Craig’s List and an Asian lady showed up to take them. I’m sure they ended up on someone’s dinner table, but you know what? I don’t want to know … because I watched these things grow up – lalalalala .. moving on.

(Side note: we didn’t truly know the chickens were roosters until one morning Brandon was in the sun room and a few of them crowed. ha!)

So. We were left with one lone red hen. And she is a pretty hen, too. Fat and spoiled. She follows Kevin around whenever he goes into the backyard. It’s pretty cute, actually. But we still wanted eggs, so Kevin went to some lady .. I think, details are hazy, remember, I can’t keep up with his projects, and he bought five more hens. These were teenage hens, grown enough to know they were hens but not mature enough to lay eggs.

Several weeks went by and … no eggs. Kevin wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong. He was feeding them well, they had a nice shed/roost to sleep away from predators, they didn’t seem stressed, they could get in/out of their house any time they pleased … and still, no eggs.

They were officially on probation. No eggs = chicken soup. (Not that I think Kevin could bring himself to kill the chickens to eat. He said he could but …. I know the man, no way!)

Finally, FINALLY, after weeks of waiting, one hen laid an egg. And a light bulb went on over the other hens’ heads and suddenly, we were getting four/five eggs every day. We had so many eggs at one point that we gave them away to Kevin’s parents and my mom. We had a lot of eggs because I couldn’t bring myself to eat any. And trust me, I LOOOOVE eggs. I don’t know, I just … couldn’t do it. It weirded me out. Which I know sounds stupid because, come on, where do you think eggs in the supermarket come from Karen, but it took me several weeks of making sure Kevin didn’t keel over from food poisoning before I cracked the shell, (see what I did there?) and started eating the eggs.

They’re quite tasty, actually. The yolks are a bright yellow, much brighter than the store-bought eggs. I usually eat three eggs on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Yes, on those specific days because I have an eating schedule … more on that in a future post. (I do Intermittent Fasting – STILL).

So now we have a steady stream of farm-fresh eggs from our grandchickens. That’s what we call our chickens because I’m starting to doubt we will actually have any grandchildren the ways things are going now.

Which brings us back to why we wanted our own chickens to begin with.

The coordinated efforts of the US billionaires to decrease our population by tainting our food because of the climate change cult.

STOP.

I can see you rolling your eyes. And maybe I’m completely nuts for going down this rabbit hole but … WHAT IF IT’S TRUE? I mean, think about it, our food is already being injected with all kind of growth hormones, additives, preservatives, CRAP, and animals are being genetically modified in order to produce more, more, MORE food, why is it crazy to think that the elites see an opportunity to inject more nefarious crap? Like, the mRNA from the experimental jab, for example?

You know it’s funny, but when I went to research this topic, I came up with pages and PAGES of “news” sites that debunked the fact that Bill Gates tweeted anything about putting mRNA into our food supply and yet, you see that he did in the above video. Granted, he didn’t specifically mention mRNA but does it really matter? Why do we need our food injected with anything at all?

And it makes me wonder if the cause of a lot of diseases, cancers, aren’t somehow linked to the crap that the government, who care for it’s people and chant like zombies that it’s for the “greater good” aren’t somehow poisoning it’s citizens?

Call me crazy, but I smell rotten meat.

I’m all about getting my news from different sources because let’s face it, all news organizations, whether they are left, right, independent, have agendas. So it’s important to get news from several different sources and make up our own minds, right? But when the media starts censoring these dissenting voices, my BS antenna quivers. What’s the dealio? Why the secrecy? Why the determination to censor people who are simply asking questions and/or seeking answers?

Why indeed?

And then, look what happened to Amos Miller, the Amish farmer who has been fighting the government, FOR YEARS, because he refuses to give his livestock any artificial crap and relies solely on decades of tried and true farming techniques to produce quality food for his family and his community? The government hates people like Amos Miller because they can’t control him. They can’t keep him under their thumbs so they do what any totalitarian government does, they try to shut him down by swatting his property and confiscating his food.

“Today, the Department of Agriculture of the State of Pennsylvania suddenly came, without notice, raided Amos’ farm, and detained everything Amos had in the farm’s freezer. 

The state’s rules require advance notice, reasonable time frames for inspections, and a showing of credentials, none of which occurred here. Instead, the state unlawfully obtained a search warrant based on materially false statements in an affidavit by a high-ranking state official in an agency with a known grievance against independent farmers like Amos, and, after the raid and finding no evidence of wrongdoing, then illegally ordered detained every item of food in one of Amos Miller’s coolers, including buffalo meat not even subject to federal regulation. “

That GiveSendGo account is here, if you want to help with legal fees for this Amish farmer.

If they can do this to an Amish farmer, what can they do to YOU?

Miller’s Organic Farm seize really got Wendy Bell fired up, too. I highly recommend following Wendy Bell’s podcast on Rumble. She’s a conservative talk-show host who is not afraid to tell it like it is. She reminds me a lot of a female Rush Limbaugh. It’s also fun to watch what goes on behind the scenes of her podcast. I hope you’ll take a moment to watch her, she says what we’re all thinking and it’s REFRESHING.

Okay, back to our chickens.

These issues? The messing with our food supply, the swatting of innocent farmers just trying to make a living and produce quality, drug-free food, this is why we want to do something – I realize it’s a minor thing, minute really in the grand scheme of things, but we often think, could we figure out how to be self-sufficient in an end-of-the-world scenario?

I’d like to think so, but … probably not. But hey, at least we would have eggs to eat.

Thanks for reading.

At the Moment

Death Do Us Part

Karen

Death is odd, isn’t it?

One minute you’re present and then the next, you’re not. Your body is still there but the essence of YOU, your breath life, the life that God breathed into you when you were born, is gone.

We all know death is part of life – it’s a given. It’s guaranteed that you and I will die at some point in the future. The bigger question, in my opinion, is what happens after we die?

But that’s a post for another day.

I’ve been very blessed in my life. I never had to deal with the grief of losing someone close to me. Of course I’ve been to funerals and of course I have felt sadness but I was more of an outsider looking in – my heart wasn’t really IMPACTED very much.

And then, my father died.

It was sudden and very unexpected. He woke up on March 24, 2023, had a nice long chat with my mother, then went for a bike ride around the block. He came back home, told mom he was back from his ride, sat down in his chair and died in his sleep.

Before any of you think it, no, he wasn’t vaccinated. No, he wasn’t sick. He was a very healthy 78-year old man who was active and seemingly in good health. This was why it was so shocking – it came out of left field. NONE of us expected it and NO ONE saw it coming.

All we can do is speculate as to what actually happened. He had fallen off his bike the week prior to his death and he said he thought he might have blacked out for a bit. A few friendly by-standers followed him home that day to make sure he made it okay. Dad said he hadn’t bumped his head, but … we’ll never know for sure.

Was it a blood clot from that accident? A slow brain bleed, perhaps? I work in neurosurgery, I know, firsthand, what a brain bleed can do to people if left untreated. It’s sneaky and if you ever fall and hit your head, it’s ALWAYS a good idea to go to the hospital and get checked out.

But dad told mom he hadn’t hit his head so there were no red flags.

He routinely drank caffeinated coffee. He was active and rode his bike regularly. Did he overwork his heart? Did his heart simply stop?

He was borderline diabetic. He wasn’t on any medications for it because he controlled it by watching what he ate. Could his blood sugars have been too high for too long and it stressed his heart out?

He never complained of feeling sick. He commented to my mom that he was tired but who isn’t? He was also a 78-year old man who rode his bike around – maybe he was simply tired from being more active than your typical 78-year old man.

These questions will never be answered. We will never know what really happened to him. And the not knowing is almost harder than dealing with his death. There is no closure; it’s a mystery.

Mom went to wake him up to ask what he wanted to dinner. When he didn’t respond and she reached out to touch him, she knew – he had slipped away.

She called 911 and they advised her to get him out of the chair and onto the floor and walked her through how to do chest compressions. The ambulance arrived shortly after and they escorted her to the kitchen and took over CPR. They called it shortly after that.

They were estimating that he had died shortly after he sat down in his chair after his bike ride – two hours previously.

We’re a family that texts. We don’t really call each other. So when my phone rang at 7:42 PM and I saw that it was mom calling, I knew something was wrong. Was dad hurt? Was something broken at their house? Did they get into a car accident? Did they lock themselves out of the house? All of these scenarios ran through my head but the possibility of death never entered my mind.

Not once.

My mom was so calm when she told me what happened. I thought it must have happened hours previously and she was able to control herself to call me and tell me but I found out later that dad was still in the house and she was waiting on the funeral home to pick him up – a police officer was with her when she called me. But she didn’t tell me any of this until afterward.

I was in my office when she called me and I got up and walked into the living room where Kevin was watching TV. I had her on speaker and I don’t remember what she was saying, all I kept thinking was, “my dad died.”

I must have said it out loud because Kevin turned off the TV and said, “What??”

The phone call didn’t last long – I’m sure it was taking everything in my mom to hang on to her sanity and I when we hung up, I sank down into a chair and just stared at Kevin.

“My dad died,” I kept saying it over and over. I just couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked. I thought if I kept saying that then someone would correct me – tell me I was mistaken.

For the first time, in a very long time, I lost control of my emotions.

I started to wail. That’s the only word I can think of to describe the tsunami of emotions that poured out of me.

Wailing: noun

  1. The act of expressing sorrow, grief, or the like audibly; loud cries of sorrow; deep lamentation.
  2. A loud drawn out scream and howl.
  3. loud cries made while weeping

I’ve never wailed in my life but I was definitely wailing at that moment in time. I think I shocked Kevin. He has obviously seen me cry and be upset over the years but he has never seen me like this. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. I cried for my dad, of course, but I was also crying for my mom. I knew this would be devastating to her and it has been.

I called our youngest son first, he didn’t answer. There was no reason why I called him first, I just figured he was the one that would most likely pick up. When our youngest didn’t pick up, I called out oldest son. He picked up. I could barely get the words out but I asked him to go to his brother’s room and close the door, that I had something important to tell him. (They live in our rental house across the street from our house). To my surprise, he said, “we already know, mom.”

“How do you already know? Who told you?”

Apparently, when my mom spoke to my sister and she told her sons, who were already online, they contacted our boys online and told them.

Bad news travels fast.

I agonized over whether I should go see my mom that night. But ultimately, I decided not to because I knew if it were me, I would want to be left alone with my grief. I wouldn’t want an audience. I wanted to give her privacy – some space – to sort out her feelings first before being forced to deal with the harsh reality later.

I didn’t sleep that night. In fact, I listened to music nearly all night just to distract myself from my thoughts.

At 9:30 AM the next morning, I called mom. She was pretty tearful, as you can imagine, and said that the funeral home had called her to see if she wanted to come in at 10:00 AM to talk about arrangements because they had a cancellation. I was shocked that they called her so quickly! I hadn’t even taken a shower when I called her and was looking pretty rough but when mom said that “she felt so alone” I said screw it and told her to wait for me and I would go with her. She didn’t need to do this by herself!!

I pulled some clothes on, tied my hair back, doused my body with body spray and headed to mom’s. I didn’t want her to drive, though truth be known I wasn’t really in very good shape to drive myself, either. I cranked the radio on full blast on my way to her house and tried to distract myself from my thoughts. I had a stern conversation with myself on my way over there – now was not the time to lose my shit because mom needed me.

She was talking to a neighbor in the driveway when I pulled up. The neighbor was checking on her because she had seen the ambulance the night before. Mom seemed to be holding it together when she was talking to the neighbor, but I knew it was false bravado.

We headed to the funeral home and she filled me in on the details. I was very distracted and took a few wrong turns though to be fair, the normal route to the funeral home was blocked by construction so I had to veer off into a neighborhood I wasn’t familiar with – which only added to the stress of our arriving late. Mom had called the funeral home to let them know we would be late because she was waiting on me.

I felt guilty for looking so rough but I figured funeral directors were used to seeing people at their worst so I squashed the guilt and turned my focus on what he was saying.

We went over quite a few things and I had the forethought to take notes on my phone because I knew I wouldn’t remember most of that conversation later. I’m glad I did – they came in handy.

Here were some of my notes:

  • Who speaks at the graveside?
  • Pictures for video
  • Need 6 pallbearers – didn’t need them after all – keep reading
  • Don’t need gravestone, military will provide.
  • Only have 15 minutes at graveside.
  • Contact Social Security office after receiving death certificate.
  • After 4:00 PM Thursday for viewing.
  • Obit on Greenlawn website
  • Visitation at 1:00 on Friday.
  • Gravesite on 4-3.

Dad was an Army Veteran. He served during the Vietnam war. He wasn’t actually deployed over there, thank God, but rather he worked on radio communications with the troops stationed over there. My dad was an electronic whiz and that’s where they used him. He participated in a few top secret missions that he told us about a few times but he couldn’t go into details.

He was active duty for three years though he was “on call” for three years after that. I don’t believe they ever had to use him during the on-call years.

Because of his service in the Army, he was eligible to be buried in the Veteran’s Cemetery which was where he wanted to be buried. However, they still had to approve it and since it was Saturday when we went in, the funeral director wasn’t sure if anyone would be available to take his call and start the process. After discussing several details, he walked us to the room to look at caskets while he went to make some calls. It was tough, and a little surreal, to be shopping for dad’s casket less than 24-hours after he passed away. It almost felt disrespectful in some ways to even be talking about what to do with dad’s body less than a day after his death. We had ZERO time to process what happened let alone have the wherewithal to make arrangements.

Not to mention the sticker shock – caskets are EXPENSIVE.

Mom chose a simple, but pretty, box with a Bible verse etched into the sides. She felt like that one best suited dad’s personality. He wouldn’t have wanted anything fancy and definitely not anything expensive.

After choosing the casket, we went back to the office to wait for the funeral director. We had to wait for quite a while. We weren’t really sure what was taking so long but it gave us an opportunity to sort out our thoughts and grabble with our emotions.

And cry. We cried a lot.

The funeral director came back in and told us that he had good news and bad news. The good news was he was able to reach someone at the VA office but the bad news was, they wouldn’t be able to get dad in for the graveside burial until the following Monday, in another week. And that was assuming the VA approved dad to be buried there. We made arrangements for the visitation/funeral to be at 1:00 PM on Friday and then, if all went according to plan, the burial would be that next Monday. They would also have a private viewing for immediate family only on Thursday after 4:00 PM.

So – we had to make arrangements super fast, less than 24-hours after his passing but the funeral and the burial wouldn’t be for another week. Wow. Talk about stretching things out. Waiting that week was torture, not going to lie. I know it was even worse for mom.

I went ahead and went to work on Monday. No one knew what sort of weekend I had and I kept it quiet for a bit. About mid-morning, I told my immediate co-workers what had happened and that I would need Friday and Monday off, for obvious reasons. I could barely get the words out when I first started to tell them and I had to walk away to get ahold of my emotions. When I returned, I told them I was just going to have to blurt out the news as I didn’t trust myself to drag it out and that I didn’t want to talk about it. They respected my wishes, of course.

Life went on as normal as it can go on after losing a parent. Little by little, word of what happened reached the rest of the clinic and people were messaging me their condolences. Actually, I was pretty annoyed with my manager because on the next week’s schedule he put, “Karen – bereavement leave” so everyone knew that I was going to be out because I lost someone. I would have preferred to not broadcast it all over the clinic but whatever, the cat was out of the bag.

Again. I refused to talk to anyone about it though by the end of the week, I did tell my immediate co-workers what had happened. I was very thankful for work, to be honest. It kept me distracted and I was able to stuff my grief into a deep, dark pocket giving my mind a break and to do my work as usual.

But when Thursday came around and it was time to make a trip to the funeral home for the private viewing, I had no choice but to take that grief out of that deep, dark pocket and air it out a bit.

Kevin went with us. It was just the three of us.

It’s hard to describe what I was feeling when we walked into the funeral parlor and I saw my dad laying in the casket for the first time. It almost felt like a dream. Things started to get fuzzy around the edges of my vision and I felt a little … off kilter. It was like I was walking into an alternate universe – it didn’t feel real though there was my dad in the casket in front of me. Kevin stood back and me and mom walked up to the casket. I held back for a bit but I could see mom was really struggling so I went and stood by her placing an arm across her shoulders for support. I held it together pretty good. Dad looked pretty good though they hadn’t really worked on his hands and they looked mummified. I think his hands disturbed me the most.

We were there for a few hours. I’m REALLY GLAD that mom had that private time with dad. She stroked his hair and leaned down to speak to him. It was private and intimate and Kevin and I left the room to give her more privacy. She was in with him for another fifteen minutes and I could tell the staff was starting to get a bit antsy – it was probably time for them to go home and just when I was about to peek in to see how mom was doing, she came out.

Though she was in no way ready to say goodbye to him, I think having some alone time with dad really helped her and I was grateful to the funeral home for giving her the opportunity to have that one-on-one time with him. Everything happened so fast when he died that she really didn’t have a chance to say her goodbyes.

Me? I was surprisingly okay. I had tears in my eyes but I wasn’t sobbing – yet.

The day of the funeral was finally here. It was such a mixed bag of juxtapositions – we didn’t want to say goodbye but at the same time, we put off saying goodbye, officially, for a whole week. It was time.

I picked mom up from her house. Her brother and his wife had driven up from Texas and were at her house when I picked her up. They were going to follow us to the funeral home. We drove to the funeral home and then we left again to go pick up my Aunt, my mom’s sister, from her house. (My Aunt no longer drives). We returned to the funeral home and several more people had showed up while we were gone. My sister and her husband were there as well as my brother, his wife and their two boys. Kevin and the boys were there as well as dad’s brother and sisters.

Again, I was doing okay. Teary eyed but not sobbing. Kevin’s mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law arrived and we spent some time talking to them. It felt like it took forever for the funeral to start but when it did, that’s when I started to lose it. I sat by mom and my sister sat by me. We had a pastor from a church we didn’t belong to, (none of us belong to a church), direct the service and he did a good job. He and mom had a lengthy discussion about dad before the funeral so he had a lot of stories and facts about dad’s life – it was nice. The pictures mom and I collected of dad’ ‘s life were showing on a slideshow throughout the funeral. We obviously stayed until the very last minute and spoke to everyone that came.

To my shock, one of the people to pass us by and offer condolences was the nurse practitioner I work with! I thought that was sooo sweet of her to drop by! I hadn’t told her my dad’s name so she had to do some research to figure out who it was.

Since the burial was on Monday, (by the way, the VA approved dad), my brother and sister stuck around all weekend so we all hung out and got reacquainted. It’s so sad that it takes a death in the family to bring a family together. My sister and I hadn’t talked for about … ten-ish years? So it was REALLY GREAT to reconnect with her.

(My brother and sister have both come down a few times to hang out since the funeral and again, it has been SO NICE to see them. We’ve had some laughs and did A LOT of talking – it’s been so nice).

Monday came around and it was time for the burial. The boys rode with me and my mom rode with her brother. We all met at the cemetery where they gave dad a 21-gun salute and a really nice send off. I absolutely sobbed the entire time. Like, an ugly cry. I don’t know why I was crying so hard at the burial but it all seemed so … final, somehow. Also, it was just so nice that dad was being honored for his service – it was respectful and quite impressive. He would have liked it, I think.

It was a short service, only about 15 minutes. Then we were asked to leave. They said it would take about two hours for them to dig the grave and place him. So, my brother, sister and the other out-of-town guests left and two/three hours later, mom and I returned to see his grave. She had made arrangements for his tombstone before we left the burial so all we had to do was wait about six weeks for his tombstone to arrive. It was very emotional to stand there and stare at his pile of dirt. Mom also made arrangements for her to be buried on top of him when it’s her time. Her name and information will be engraved on the back side of dad’s tombstone. They will place her casket in the same hole on top of his casket – she’ll have the “top bunk” as the lady at the VA office told her.

I’ve been back a few times to see his tombstone and to say hi. It’s so weird to not have him around. We all thought he would stick around till his 90’s at least – both of his parents lasted that long.

My mom is handling it but she’s having a really hard time. Dad was her soulmate and she’s known him all her life – since 14 at least. She always knew she wanted to marry him. Seeing her hurting is heartbreaking and I wish I knew how to comfort her. This is a new territory for me and I feel a bit lost and completely out of my element trying to navigate this difficult time.

It’s amazing how you take life for granted. There is so much to do and so many excuses not to do it because you think, “there’s plenty of time for that.”

But there’s not, not really. Life is precious and every second/minute should be cherished and savored because you never know if you’ll go to sleep and never wake up.

Thanks for reading.

At the Moment

I Did Something …

Karen

Yes, we’re one of THOSE people.

Kevin put our house lights up, too. We’re one of the first to put our lights up in the neighborhood. We’re now the house that everyone sniffs at as they drive past …

“Oh! Can you believe those people?! We haven’t even gotten through Thanksgiving yet!”

Meh. Think what you want. Though I will say this is the earliest we’ve ever put our decorations up. Why this year, you ask?

Beats me. I just felt like it. I love Christmas. It makes me happy. And when we turned the Christmas music on to decorate the tree … *swoon* – I just felt nostalgic, happy, peaceful and content.

I love those feelings.

By the way, our tree is fake and I’m not ashamed.

One of the reasons I’m posting this is because every year. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. When it comes time to put our tree up, Kevin and I have a debate on what color of lights we had the previous year.

EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

And every single year, neither one of us can remember.

EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

So this year, I thought I would take a picture and then post it, (because I take pictures and then can never locate them the next year) so that WHEN we have this conversation next year, we’ll remember what color lights we had.

Smart, eh?

Personally, I think white lights are my favorite, but Kevin likes the colored lights better. I like colored lights, especially since they remind me of the trees we had when I was little, but I don’t know, I like the white lights better. They’re … classier, I guess?

The boys, who have now fully moved into the rental house across the street, (LeRoy is in HEAVEN), walked across the street to help me decorate. It’s SO COOL to have them close. I think I’ve seen them more in the past week than I have in the past three months. And I didn’t even have to ask them. They found out I was putting the tree up and came over to help.

*sniff*

We usually put up our homemade ornaments every year. You know the ones, the ornaments that the kids made when they were in school. And the ones we have collected over the years on our travels. But this year … I don’t know, I just felt like doing something a little more … boring traditional, I guess?

I don’t think the boys liked it. They would prefer the handmade ornaments though they would rather have their eyes poked out than admit that. And I swear I detected a note of disappointment in Brandon’s voice when he found out I wasn’t throwing the cheap tinsel “icicles” on this year and instead used these:

Santa still comes to our house. At least for the boys. (Kevin and I don’t buy each other gifts anymore – we go on vacations together – that’s our gift to each other). In years past, the boys came over on Christmas Eve, we played games, snacked and then they spent the night. We then dragged their butts out of bed the next morning, they opened their gifts then we had breakfast together. I’m sure we’ll do something like that this year but they may just want to WALK over the next morning since they will literally be across the street from us.

We have a busy few weeks ahead, as I’m sure ya’ll do as well. We’re having a birthday/Thanksgiving day party at my parent’s this weekend. Then we’re hosting Kevin’s family on Thanksgiving day. And we’ll be hosting Christmas for my family at our house next month. I’m sure Kevin’s mom will want to have a Christmas party at her house sometime next month, too.

So yes. I put our tree up early. And I plan on enjoying every single moment.

When do you put your tree up? What color of lights do you like better? Do you have a real tree or a fake tree?

Talk to me. I’m curious.

At the Moment, Twitter Messages

A Society-Wide Problem

Karen

Did you see this crying barista video? Watch and let’s discuss.

First of all, I’m a big fan of Matt Walsh. He calls it like he sees it. He’s real and unabashedly honest. He doesn’t sugar coat it and he doesn’t apologize for simply pointing out REALITY to people. He’s part of the Daily Wire group, which I recommend following, for a number of reasons. But let’s get back to the video.

My first reaction is pity. I feel sorry for this girl. She’s clearly confused, on so many levels, and crying out for help that no one can admit she needs.

My next reaction is anger. At her parents. For not standing firm and teaching her that life will not treat you special. That you’re not special, not to the general population. I can ASSURE you, no one, NO ONE, cares what you identify as. NO ONE is going to cater to your hurt feelings or sensitivities. And no amount of facial hair, crying, protesting, anger, name calling, is going to change that. It makes me angry that parents haven’t taught their children how to handle reality. How to endure hardships. The importance of hard work and enjoying the fruits of that labor.

And the part where she says, “The customer mis-gendered me … I have a full mustache and beard!” All I hear, is, “play into my fantasy! Do you realize what I’ve gone through to make this charade a reality??” I just feel bad for her. She’s desperately trying to be special, to stand out … all this has done is break her. It’s just pathetic.

As Matt says, this is a system-wide problem. Our kids have short circuited and the “adults” in their lives are too scared to re-wire them. Everyone is so scare of being “labeled.” I’ve never understood why people are so scared of WORDS?! Who cares what you call me. Think what you want, it DOESN’T CHANGE REALITY.

And I truly don’t understand the NEED to post oneself having a mental break down to the Internet for everyone to see and ridicule. Why? What is the purpose of putting your mental breakdowns online? What is that going to do? How does that help? Short answer, it doesn’t. This girl not only posted her breakdown, she posted it WHILE AT WORK AND ON THE CLOCK. I’ll be shocked if she doesn’t get fired. And news flash, this is precisely why companies are loathe to set up unions because snowflakes like this will make crazy demands ultimately leading the business to closing it’s doors because it can no long afford to cater to it’s crazy employees’ demands.

Is it the attention? I guess negative attention is better than no attention at all?

“We have built a society filled with people who can not handle any amount of frustration at all, they can’t carry on, let alone thrive. They collapse and melt into a puddle. And the fundamental issue is that no one wants to work, these people think they shouldn’t have to. They just don’t wish for the magical genie, (to grant their every wish), they think that the world owes it to them. And when the world doesn’t give them what they believe they’re owed ,they cave into themselves even farther.”

Amen Matt, amen.

Here are two more examples of today’s system-wide problems:

This grown woman thought it was okay to dump the entire contents of TWO bowls of candy into her bucket, bag, whatever. What makes someone think this is okay?? What sort of upbringing did this woman have to not only think this is okay but to act upon it? She’s feels like this is “owed” her, I guess. I truly don’t understand this mentality.

And check out this kid:

I’m sure his parents are beaming with pride right about now. I say that with sarcasm but I don’t know, maybe they really ARE proud of this little shit.

And the fact that he flips off the camera at the end. So disrespectful and antagonistic.

If this is your child, or you have a child that behaves in this way, not only is your kid an asshole, but you need parenting lessons. Because THIS? This is not the proper way to raise a child.

Seeing the state of people’s narcissistic, selfish, entitled attitudes and behaviors sickens me. What are we doing? How did we get this way? I know the schools are a HUGE part of the problem but parents, what the hell?!

Kids like this boy and girl, who thinks she’s a boy, grow up into the asshole that is this grown woman. It’s a cycle of sadness, despair and disillusion.

Let’s get back to reality, shall we?

Parents, do better.

At the Moment, Work Stuff

Taking an Online Class

Karen

I’m taking a class.

I haven’t been in school since I graduated from college in 2003 with my Bachelor’s in Technical Writing – which I’ve done nothing with, by the way, because I discovered, early on, that the field of Technical Writing is incredibly dull and dry and I couldn’t envision myself doing it for eight hours a day for the rest of my life.

No offense to anyone who is in the Technical Writing field.

The reason I settled on a Technical Writing degree is because I really wanted to study writing and I knew that getting a Creative Writing degree, though cool, wouldn’t be lucrative unless I happened to get lucky and become another Brandon Sanderson, so I thought a Technical Writing degree would be the more “responsible” thing to do.

Creative writing is my minor, by the way.

Anyway, all of this to say, I haven’t taken a class since the early 2000’s.

So why now?

Because of COVID.

For those that don’t know, I work in the medical field. I’m a medical assistant and work in neurosurgery. I’ve been doing this for the past ten years (!!) and I have quite enjoyed it. I’ve learned a lot, I really enjoy what I do and the people I work with and I’m proud to say, I’ve mastered it – I’m quite good at what I do. And I fully intended to spend the rest of my working days doing this job.

But then COVID happened. As you can imagine, my life was turned upside down. I mean, I don’t have to tell you that, you lived it too. I’m sure your life was equally thrown off kilter – it affected everyone.

But it especially impacted those in the medical field.

I feel like my team is just NOW starting to get back to normal after all of the turmoil and I’m grateful for it. I don’t want to go back to those awkward days of tiptoeing around each other and walking on eggshells every time the subject was brought up. I mean, we still do that now, but it’s not as bad as it was in the beginning. And the primary reason it really even became an issue is because I was (am) the only one on my team who chose not to get vaccinated. I won’t rehash all of that nightmare, you’re free to read through my thoughts and experiences here, but suffice it to say, it completely changed my working outlook.

I no longer trust healthcare. Not the people I work with, and definitely not the doctors I work with, they are amazing and I have the utmost respect for them, but healthcare in general. Specifically, government decisions on what is “best” for the people. As soon as my bodily autonomy was taken away from me – I changed.

I would love to challenge and fight “the healthcare czars” but I’m one tiny ant on a massive anthill so what does that leave? Just me, myself and I. I need to protect my future and my body.

Kevin and I have talked long and hard about this and we both feel VERY STRONGLY about this – I will no longer be participating in any sort of annual vaccine. Because I work in a hospital, I’ve had to, in exchange to keep my job, participate in an annual flu vaccination. At first, I was like, “meh. I’m not exactly loving this but whatever, I’ll deal with it.” But then, after COVID and all of the secrecy, the “misinformation”, (which really amounted to people who had legitimate questions but were not “allowed” to ask them), the dishonesty and the crazy agendas that seem to be more and more nefarious the more you dig, I no longer trust the flu vaccinations.

I’ve been reading that the mRNA is an efficient and cost effective way to make vaccines and that future vaccinations will most likely be made with this technology.

The future of mRNA vaccine field is potential, and the clinical data and resources provided by the associated companies and other academic institutions are likely to significantly build on and strengthen basic research into mRNA-based vaccines. Source

As someone who doesn’t even like to take Tylenol unless absolutely necessary and who looks for any natural remedy for whatever ailment I’m suffering from, this is not good news to me.

So now what? The clock is ticking to the next annual flu vaccination in October and I can assure you, I won’t be participating this year, or any future years. Feel free to disagree – you do you, I’ll do me.

But if I don’t take the flu vaccination, and the hospital doesn’t accept my religious exemption, (they accepted my exemption for the COVID injection but not the flu injection), then I’ll be out of a job. I hope that is not the case, I would prefer to continue working my current job but remember, I’m but one tiny ant.

I need a backup plan.

Realistically, I have about nine working years left before I retire. If I have to quit this job, what am I going to do? Yes. The easiest and simplest thing would be for me to find a mindless job with zero stress and wait out my retirement date. But GAH – that sounds so boring. I would prefer to be challenged. Something that would keep me on my toes and would challenge my brain.

I did A LOT of research and thinking these past few months. I haunted Indeed.com job postings and when I saw it, I knew I had to try it. It’s something I’ve talked about trying for years and years and honestly, something I likely would have pursued if I hadn’t fallen into this medical assistant job.

Paralegal.

I’ve always talked about wanting to be a paralegal. I LOVE research and to me, it just sounds interesting and right up my alley. But I can’t waltz into an attorney’s office and apply for a paralegal job, I don’t have the knowledge, let alone the experience, to do that. And do I really want to spend a few years taking paralegal classes when I only have about nine working years left? Sure, eventually, the investment of going to school might pay off but for how long? Six, seven years? It might take me that long to pay off my student debt. (Because unlike progressives out there – I don’t take out debt and then expect someone else to pay it off – thank you very much).

But I didn’t give up. I kept on digging and I settled on plan B.

This is the logo I created for my documents

Legal secretary.

So, I applied for a legal secretary job on Indeed.com. I wasn’t expecting much, it was sort of an experiment, but when I had to take an assessment test as part of the application process and not only had ZERO clue what I was doing but no idea what the multiple answer options even were, I knew I was in way over my head.

That pushed me to dig a little more. I started researching educational programs to learn more about the duties of a legal secretary. I mean, 85% of my current job is administrative duties, I’m no stranger to office etiquette, phone skills and of course, I can write, how hard could this be, right?

But here’s where it gets dicey. There are A LOT of places out there to take legal secretary classes but my question was, how reputable were they? And I certainly didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars just so I would have a plan B for whatever happens in October.

I researched for weeks and finally stumbled across the Center for Legal Studies (CLS). This is not a sponsored post, I’m simply letting you know this is who I settled on. What really sold me about this program was that CLS partners up with sponsor schools in every state. They have two partnered schools in Missouri, both of which are reputable universities. So my certificate would be from a university and seem more plausible than some out-of-the way, obscure company that no one has heard of and who might not even be in existence next year.

Now. How was I going to sell this crazy idea to Kevin? Again, this is my backup plan B – I will likely not actively pursue this option unless the hospital doesn’t grant my religious exemption request in October, so it’s not a sure thing. Just a maybe thing. And though the class wasn’t as much as I anticipated, it’s not chump change, either.

Kevin and I talked and he was surprisingly on board with this idea. He’s been wanting me to quit the hospital for quite some time and ultimately, he persuaded me to enroll.

I’m currently taking the class now. In fact, I have homework and a quiz to complete before 7:00 PM tomorrow night and yet, here I am …

The class is entirely online and it’s seven weeks long. I’m currently in my fourth week. It’s not hard, and it doesn’t really even take that long, but I’m learning a lot. The legal world is a whole new world. You wouldn’t think there would be much involved when it comes to being a legal secretary but there is actually a lot to know.

Quizzes are open book, thank goodness. Their reasoning is because in the real world, you would have loads of resources at your fingertips to look things up and I appreciate their real-world approach.

I’m taking this class seriously, but I don’t have a do or die approach to it. It’s actually nice not to get too stressed about it because honestly, I just want to get a passing grade, I’m not looking to be the best in my class; I just want to know enough that I don’t make a fool of myself if (when) I have to start interviewing.

There are a surprising number of legal assistant/secretary job openings on Indeed.com so I’m not terribly worried about finding something if (when) I have to start looking. I’ve already been looking at dress clothes and trying to put an interview outfit together – just in case.

That is a major drawback to my plan B – clothing. I’m not going to lie, it’s been really nice to wear, in essence, pajamas to work for the past ten years. I’ll have to seriously step up my wardrobe game if I land a job in the legal field.

Here is my syllabus, in case you were curious:

Lesson One: Introduction to the American Legal System & Ethics
Lesson Two: Reception Duties, Correspondence, File Management & Filing Systems
Lesson Three: Calendar & Docketing, Fees, Billing & Accounting Practices
Lesson Four: Word Processing & Legal Document Preparation
Lesson Five: E-discovery, Computers in a Law Office
Lesson Six: Legal Secretary Practicum

Anyway. That’s my current distraction. I know I’ve been pretty quiet on my blog lately but I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’ll update you again after I complete the course and give you my final thoughts on the experience.

I feel LOADS better about potentially losing my job in the Fall now that I have a backup plan. I would rather keep my job – I get paid well and I’m comfortable – but if I have to find something else, at least I’ll be prepared.

Thanks for reading.

At the Moment, Work Stuff

Will They Accept My Religious Exemption Request?

Karen

Now, it’s a waiting game.

I submitted my religious exemption request last week but I’m not holding my breath. A couple of other girls submitted their exemptions about one week before I did and they have heard back ….

DENIED.

I’m not surprised but I am disappointed. I really thought the hospital would use this as an excuse, an olive branch really, to meet us “anti-vaxxers,” though we’re really not anti-vax, we’re anti-COVID vax, and they would meet us halfway.

I am really confused, from a business stand point, why they wouldn’t jump on this opportunity, this chance, to keep people. They have to know they are going to lose a lot of people, all over the hospital and that is going to ultimately overwork the ones left, burning them out and potentially losing more workers before it’s all said and done. Or maybe they are just thinking of ripping the band aid off, get rid of the “anti-science” people, (*eye roll*) and starting over from scratch. Yes, it will be hard for the hospital at first, but they will eventually get fully staffed again and these new people will be vaxxed and ready to go. They will get rid of the trouble makers, I suppose. People like me who dare to defy their authoritarian rule.

At any rate, I haven’t received the dreaded letter in the mail yet, but I’m sure it’s coming this week. I’m predicting it will arrive by Friday as that is what they did this last go around. A strategic move, quite honestly. That way, disgruntled employees can bitch and moan at home as opposed to spreading “gossip” and discontent at work.

We’ll see. Again, I’m not holding my breath. I’m honestly not looking for them to approve it. Especially after reading and researching more about religious exemptions to begin with. I found this bit from a website that is geared toward employers, a guideline, if you will, of how to handle religious exemption requests.

Here’s the bit that caught my eye:

Importantly, the policy should inform employees that the law requires an employer to reasonably accommodate an employee’s religious beliefs or practices, unless doing so would cause an undue burden on the operations of the employer’s business. For example, an employer does not have to accommodate an employee’s religious beliefs if the accommodation is costly, infringes on other employees’ job rights or benefits, compromises workplace safety, decreases workplace efficiency, or requires other employees to do more than their share of potentially hazardous or burdensome work.

Because the current COVID-19 vaccinations are approved through the emergency authorization only, (though now I wonder if that has changed since the Pfizer vaccine has been approved (*snort*) there may be questions regarding an employer’s ability to mandate the vaccine. However, based on recent federal guidance, particularly the EEOC’s guidance, and court decisions in some jurisdictions, employers are likely on firm legal ground in mandating the vaccine at this point. Operating an interactive accommodation request process is crucial in limiting potential litigation. In furtherance of this, employers should follow these abiding principles:

  • Presume a religious belief to be sincerely held, then be selective and cautious when requesting further verification and documentation. Avoid a fishing expedition to reduce the chances of claims of discrimination, harassment, or intimidation
  • Be cognizant that religious beliefs are not static and are susceptible to change over the course of a person’s life
  • Remember that the fact that an individual is not a frequent observer of his or her faith or had not previously made his or her faith public does not necessarily limit its sincerity
  • An accommodation does not have to be limited to what is requested by the employee. If the accommodation is legitimate and non-retaliatory, there is a wide range of potential accommodations at the employer’s disposal. Should the employee elect not to accept the accommodation offered, and all other alternative accommodations would cause an undue burden, the employer can part ways with the employee

Source

The part I think they are going to focus on is the “compromises workplace safety,” because let’s face it, unvaccinated people are dirty, unclean and unsavory people. (*eye roll*), at least, according to Biden and his administration’s narrative.

(By the way, Biden, from this point forward, shall be called DICK-tator-in-chief on this blog).

They are going to focus on this because unvaccinated people are jeopardizing the other co-workers by putting their health at risk. Which makes zero sense to me as the vaccinated people SHOULD be protected – isn’t that the whole point of being vaccinated? If a person is vaccinated, why would he/she worry about little ole me and my germs? Right? But I guess that’s not how it works because the “vaccine” isn’t all that effective as evidenced by the fact that vaccinated people have been getting the Delta variant and the CDC is already looking toward pushing boosters. In fact, I would argue that we have a Delta variant BECAUSE of the vaccinated. Or, it has spread so quickly because of the vaccinated. But who knows what’s true and what’s false – everyone is lying, or not telling the whole truth so it’s hard to know what’s REALLY going on right now. I’m just looking forward to the day we can look back on this time period and hopefully sort through this mess and learn from our mistakes.

Because, there HAVE been mistakes – it’s just that no one wants to admit to anything right now.

Seriously, WHEN does it end?? How many injectables are they going to force into people before this madness stops? Is this going to be a yearly thing? Like the flu shot? Only with the COVID shots, we won’t be given a choice??

So I was already not really hopeful about the hospital accepting my exemption request to begin with, but what little hope I had was smashed into shards of reality when the DICK-tator-in-chief made his little announcement about losing patience with us little people and declaring this was now a pandemic of the unvaccinated.

The president has exhausted his patience.

He had tried all the incentives and emotional exhortations and even red-white-and-blue appeals to the patriotism that beats in American hearts. Yet, at least in his estimation, not enough people listened: One-fourth of those eligible still have not rolled up their sleeves, bared their arms, and voluntarily taken their COVID shots.

“What more is there to wait for? What more do you need to see?” an exasperated Joe Biden asked the unvaccinated on Thursday. “We’ve made vaccinations free, safe, and convenient. The vaccine has FDA approval. Over 200 million Americans have gotten at least one shot.”

But Biden won’t wait for an answer to his questions. He and his administration are done with the coaxing. Now, the president has picked up the stick by announcing new vaccine mandates.

Employers with more than 100 workers will be required to ensure their workforce is fully vaccinated or else provide weekly testing for the virus under penalty of stiff fines. Any health care provider that receives federal Medicare or Medicaid dollars must do the same. Anyone boarding a flight must wear a mask or incur a doubled fine, courtesy of the TSA.

How did it come to this? Biden explained not only the need for the sweeping mandates but also said exactly who is to blame. “This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated,” he said, “and it’s caused by the fact that despite America having an unprecedented and successful vaccination program, despite the fact that for almost five months free vaccines have been available in 80,000 different locations, we still have nearly 80 million Americans who have failed to get the shot.”

He scolded the unvaccinated: “Our patience is wearing thin and your refusal has cost all of us.” He dared Republican governors to try and stop him: “If these governors won’t help us beat the pandemic, I’ll use my power as president to get them out of the way.”

And he changed a course he set long ago.

While president-elect, Biden was asked about mandatory vaccinations just weeks after the first successful vaccine trials were announced. “No, I don’t think it should be mandatory. I wouldn’t demand it be mandatory,” he said in December, adding, “But I would do everything in my power — just like I don’t think masks have to be made mandatory nationwide — I will do everything in my power as president of the United States to encourage people to do the right thing.”

Source

So yes, the man lies. Consistently. Not that I ever believed a word out of his, or any of his administration’s mouths, to being with, but this just proves he will say and do anything if it furthers his agenda and/or doesn’t get his way. Apparently, us “little people” who aren’t falling lock/stock with his plan are making him lose patience – now he must mandate the damn thing. Which, for me at my hospital, was already mandated, but now everyone else in the country is now worried and anxious about losing their jobs. Swell.

In some ways, this may HELP my religious exemption case. The DICK-tator-in-chief said that people have to get the vaccine or succumb to weekly COVID testing. I’m not thrilled about this idea, AT ALL, however, if EVERYONE is subjected to this requirement then it seems a bit silly for me to quit my job at the hospital, find another job, only to have to subject myself to weekly testing someplace else anyway. I might as well stay where I am, where I know the job and am comfortable with the job, and take advantage of the pay raise.

By the way, my manager pulled me into her office the other day to let me know how the hospital’s decision to raise the minimum wage to $15.25, (I think I mentioned it was $15.50 in another blog post, that is not correct), will personally affect my hourly wage. Not gonna lie, it will raise my hourly wage by $2.66 an hour. Which amounts to a healthy paycheck. That’s another reason I’m working hard to try and figure out some middle ground in order to keep this job. Again, if I am going to be subjected to the same requirements where ever I go, I might as well stay at the hospital and take advantage of the pay hike. Right?

Side note: I watched a video of a hospital worker that showed up to work after the vaccine deadline and tried to clock in as usual. She wasn’t able to. Then, a member of human resources, (or some person of authority), along with a security person, tried to get her to leave and she refused. She said she hadn’t quit and she never got her letter of termination. So … now what? The video was cut off when the security person realized she was filming and said, “I don’t give you permission to film me.” She wisely shut it down as that would have been grounds for a lawsuit, I’m sure.

Also – side note – check out my Twitter timeline in my sidebar. There is a video of an Australian man in a quarantine hotel filming his “neighbor” going berserk because he was due to go home and the authorities won’t allow him to go home even though his quarantine time was up. That is some scary stuff, ya’ll. The government is getting more and more emboldened because the citizens are going along with these insane “rules” and not doing anything to stop them. As a results, they are taking more and more rights away from the citizens. WHEN DOES IT STOP?!

So what’s next?

Man, I don’t know. Just when I think things are starting to level out, something happens and things are more confusing and chaotic than before. And now, I heard that the DICK-tator-in-chief is supposed to come out with more crap tomorrow. Who knows what that will look like.

Kevin wants me to find a job at a company that has less than 100 people then I won’t have to worry about being forced to get a vaccine or have to take a weekly COVID test. And why is that, by the way? Why 100? Why not 200? 150? Everything is so arbitrary and random. But I guess when you’re the DICK-tator in charge and no one has the balls to step up and stop you, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Right?

All I know is, I’m tired. I’m SO VERY TIRED of feeling pissed off and on edge all the time. I just want this nightmare to end. I’m still fighting, but I need the bell to ring – tell me to go to my corner. Give me a moment to catch my breath and regroup. I’m sure most people feel this way. Every time I have a tentative game plan, “Okay, if this happens, then I will do this. Or, if it doesn’t happen, then I’ll go with plan C”, something else comes along and blows that game plan out the window.

I’ve been HAUNTING Indeed.com jobs. I actually have four saved in my favorites that I might try and go for, at some point. I’m looking at editing jobs, banking jobs – heck, I even spent some time watching YouTube videos on how to start a Twitch stream last night. I don’t think it would be a gaming stream because I don’t play games and am no where good enough to think people would want to watch me and my clumsy efforts to play something, though I guess I could put a different spin on it and market it like, “Watch the world’s worst gamer!” But it would be something that I could do at home. Kevin was telling me that he knew someone who knew someone who made their Twitch stream their full-time job because he was pulling in $14,000 a month! CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE!?

Also, kudos to that person. He found something that worked for him.

I haven’t tossed the whole writing community idea away. I think it would be so much fun to build a writing community where we could get together, talk shop, exchange work, offer critiques, be Beta readers for each other, build a self-publishing network, etc., someplace like Patreon or Locals but I’ve been so distracted with the chaos that is my life right now, I haven’t taken the time to really focus on that. It’s not off the table, it’s still there and collecting dust in the corner somewhere.

But I’m ready to just about do anything to get out of this waking nightmare.

What’s my plan? Heck if I know. I’m taking it day-by-day but for right now, I’m waiting to hear back on my exemption and then once it’s denied, because I can’t allow myself to have any hope so that I can better handle my disappointment, I will talk to my manager about the possibility of being tested each week. And if that doesn’t work … who knows what my options will be at that time.

If there are any options.

If you’re out there in a similar situation, please know that you’re NOT alone though it may feel like it. There are 100 million people in the same boat right now, thanks to our DICK-tator-in-chief’s decree. All I can say at his point in time is pray, talk to your family and keep your career options open right now.

Talk to you soon,