At the Moment

Death Do Us Part

Karen

Death is odd, isn’t it?

One minute you’re present and then the next, you’re not. Your body is still there but the essence of YOU, your breath life, the life that God breathed into you when you were born, is gone.

We all know death is part of life – it’s a given. It’s guaranteed that you and I will die at some point in the future. The bigger question, in my opinion, is what happens after we die?

But that’s a post for another day.

I’ve been very blessed in my life. I never had to deal with the grief of losing someone close to me. Of course I’ve been to funerals and of course I have felt sadness but I was more of an outsider looking in – my heart wasn’t really IMPACTED very much.

And then, my father died.

It was sudden and very unexpected. He woke up on March 24, 2023, had a nice long chat with my mother, then went for a bike ride around the block. He came back home, told mom he was back from his ride, sat down in his chair and died in his sleep.

Before any of you think it, no, he wasn’t vaccinated. No, he wasn’t sick. He was a very healthy 78-year old man who was active and seemingly in good health. This was why it was so shocking – it came out of left field. NONE of us expected it and NO ONE saw it coming.

All we can do is speculate as to what actually happened. He had fallen off his bike the week prior to his death and he said he thought he might have blacked out for a bit. A few friendly by-standers followed him home that day to make sure he made it okay. Dad said he hadn’t bumped his head, but … we’ll never know for sure.

Was it a blood clot from that accident? A slow brain bleed, perhaps? I work in neurosurgery, I know, firsthand, what a brain bleed can do to people if left untreated. It’s sneaky and if you ever fall and hit your head, it’s ALWAYS a good idea to go to the hospital and get checked out.

But dad told mom he hadn’t hit his head so there were no red flags.

He routinely drank caffeinated coffee. He was active and rode his bike regularly. Did he overwork his heart? Did his heart simply stop?

He was borderline diabetic. He wasn’t on any medications for it because he controlled it by watching what he ate. Could his blood sugars have been too high for too long and it stressed his heart out?

He never complained of feeling sick. He commented to my mom that he was tired but who isn’t? He was also a 78-year old man who rode his bike around – maybe he was simply tired from being more active than your typical 78-year old man.

These questions will never be answered. We will never know what really happened to him. And the not knowing is almost harder than dealing with his death. There is no closure; it’s a mystery.

Mom went to wake him up to ask what he wanted to dinner. When he didn’t respond and she reached out to touch him, she knew – he had slipped away.

She called 911 and they advised her to get him out of the chair and onto the floor and walked her through how to do chest compressions. The ambulance arrived shortly after and they escorted her to the kitchen and took over CPR. They called it shortly after that.

They were estimating that he had died shortly after he sat down in his chair after his bike ride – two hours previously.

We’re a family that texts. We don’t really call each other. So when my phone rang at 7:42 PM and I saw that it was mom calling, I knew something was wrong. Was dad hurt? Was something broken at their house? Did they get into a car accident? Did they lock themselves out of the house? All of these scenarios ran through my head but the possibility of death never entered my mind.

Not once.

My mom was so calm when she told me what happened. I thought it must have happened hours previously and she was able to control herself to call me and tell me but I found out later that dad was still in the house and she was waiting on the funeral home to pick him up – a police officer was with her when she called me. But she didn’t tell me any of this until afterward.

I was in my office when she called me and I got up and walked into the living room where Kevin was watching TV. I had her on speaker and I don’t remember what she was saying, all I kept thinking was, “my dad died.”

I must have said it out loud because Kevin turned off the TV and said, “What??”

The phone call didn’t last long – I’m sure it was taking everything in my mom to hang on to her sanity and I when we hung up, I sank down into a chair and just stared at Kevin.

“My dad died,” I kept saying it over and over. I just couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked. I thought if I kept saying that then someone would correct me – tell me I was mistaken.

For the first time, in a very long time, I lost control of my emotions.

I started to wail. That’s the only word I can think of to describe the tsunami of emotions that poured out of me.

Wailing: noun

  1. The act of expressing sorrow, grief, or the like audibly; loud cries of sorrow; deep lamentation.
  2. A loud drawn out scream and howl.
  3. loud cries made while weeping

I’ve never wailed in my life but I was definitely wailing at that moment in time. I think I shocked Kevin. He has obviously seen me cry and be upset over the years but he has never seen me like this. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. I cried for my dad, of course, but I was also crying for my mom. I knew this would be devastating to her and it has been.

I called our youngest son first, he didn’t answer. There was no reason why I called him first, I just figured he was the one that would most likely pick up. When our youngest didn’t pick up, I called out oldest son. He picked up. I could barely get the words out but I asked him to go to his brother’s room and close the door, that I had something important to tell him. (They live in our rental house across the street from our house). To my surprise, he said, “we already know, mom.”

“How do you already know? Who told you?”

Apparently, when my mom spoke to my sister and she told her sons, who were already online, they contacted our boys online and told them.

Bad news travels fast.

I agonized over whether I should go see my mom that night. But ultimately, I decided not to because I knew if it were me, I would want to be left alone with my grief. I wouldn’t want an audience. I wanted to give her privacy – some space – to sort out her feelings first before being forced to deal with the harsh reality later.

I didn’t sleep that night. In fact, I listened to music nearly all night just to distract myself from my thoughts.

At 9:30 AM the next morning, I called mom. She was pretty tearful, as you can imagine, and said that the funeral home had called her to see if she wanted to come in at 10:00 AM to talk about arrangements because they had a cancellation. I was shocked that they called her so quickly! I hadn’t even taken a shower when I called her and was looking pretty rough but when mom said that “she felt so alone” I said screw it and told her to wait for me and I would go with her. She didn’t need to do this by herself!!

I pulled some clothes on, tied my hair back, doused my body with body spray and headed to mom’s. I didn’t want her to drive, though truth be known I wasn’t really in very good shape to drive myself, either. I cranked the radio on full blast on my way to her house and tried to distract myself from my thoughts. I had a stern conversation with myself on my way over there – now was not the time to lose my shit because mom needed me.

She was talking to a neighbor in the driveway when I pulled up. The neighbor was checking on her because she had seen the ambulance the night before. Mom seemed to be holding it together when she was talking to the neighbor, but I knew it was false bravado.

We headed to the funeral home and she filled me in on the details. I was very distracted and took a few wrong turns though to be fair, the normal route to the funeral home was blocked by construction so I had to veer off into a neighborhood I wasn’t familiar with – which only added to the stress of our arriving late. Mom had called the funeral home to let them know we would be late because she was waiting on me.

I felt guilty for looking so rough but I figured funeral directors were used to seeing people at their worst so I squashed the guilt and turned my focus on what he was saying.

We went over quite a few things and I had the forethought to take notes on my phone because I knew I wouldn’t remember most of that conversation later. I’m glad I did – they came in handy.

Here were some of my notes:

  • Who speaks at the graveside?
  • Pictures for video
  • Need 6 pallbearers – didn’t need them after all – keep reading
  • Don’t need gravestone, military will provide.
  • Only have 15 minutes at graveside.
  • Contact Social Security office after receiving death certificate.
  • After 4:00 PM Thursday for viewing.
  • Obit on Greenlawn website
  • Visitation at 1:00 on Friday.
  • Gravesite on 4-3.

Dad was an Army Veteran. He served during the Vietnam war. He wasn’t actually deployed over there, thank God, but rather he worked on radio communications with the troops stationed over there. My dad was an electronic whiz and that’s where they used him. He participated in a few top secret missions that he told us about a few times but he couldn’t go into details.

He was active duty for three years though he was “on call” for three years after that. I don’t believe they ever had to use him during the on-call years.

Because of his service in the Army, he was eligible to be buried in the Veteran’s Cemetery which was where he wanted to be buried. However, they still had to approve it and since it was Saturday when we went in, the funeral director wasn’t sure if anyone would be available to take his call and start the process. After discussing several details, he walked us to the room to look at caskets while he went to make some calls. It was tough, and a little surreal, to be shopping for dad’s casket less than 24-hours after he passed away. It almost felt disrespectful in some ways to even be talking about what to do with dad’s body less than a day after his death. We had ZERO time to process what happened let alone have the wherewithal to make arrangements.

Not to mention the sticker shock – caskets are EXPENSIVE.

Mom chose a simple, but pretty, box with a Bible verse etched into the sides. She felt like that one best suited dad’s personality. He wouldn’t have wanted anything fancy and definitely not anything expensive.

After choosing the casket, we went back to the office to wait for the funeral director. We had to wait for quite a while. We weren’t really sure what was taking so long but it gave us an opportunity to sort out our thoughts and grabble with our emotions.

And cry. We cried a lot.

The funeral director came back in and told us that he had good news and bad news. The good news was he was able to reach someone at the VA office but the bad news was, they wouldn’t be able to get dad in for the graveside burial until the following Monday, in another week. And that was assuming the VA approved dad to be buried there. We made arrangements for the visitation/funeral to be at 1:00 PM on Friday and then, if all went according to plan, the burial would be that next Monday. They would also have a private viewing for immediate family only on Thursday after 4:00 PM.

So – we had to make arrangements super fast, less than 24-hours after his passing but the funeral and the burial wouldn’t be for another week. Wow. Talk about stretching things out. Waiting that week was torture, not going to lie. I know it was even worse for mom.

I went ahead and went to work on Monday. No one knew what sort of weekend I had and I kept it quiet for a bit. About mid-morning, I told my immediate co-workers what had happened and that I would need Friday and Monday off, for obvious reasons. I could barely get the words out when I first started to tell them and I had to walk away to get ahold of my emotions. When I returned, I told them I was just going to have to blurt out the news as I didn’t trust myself to drag it out and that I didn’t want to talk about it. They respected my wishes, of course.

Life went on as normal as it can go on after losing a parent. Little by little, word of what happened reached the rest of the clinic and people were messaging me their condolences. Actually, I was pretty annoyed with my manager because on the next week’s schedule he put, “Karen – bereavement leave” so everyone knew that I was going to be out because I lost someone. I would have preferred to not broadcast it all over the clinic but whatever, the cat was out of the bag.

Again. I refused to talk to anyone about it though by the end of the week, I did tell my immediate co-workers what had happened. I was very thankful for work, to be honest. It kept me distracted and I was able to stuff my grief into a deep, dark pocket giving my mind a break and to do my work as usual.

But when Thursday came around and it was time to make a trip to the funeral home for the private viewing, I had no choice but to take that grief out of that deep, dark pocket and air it out a bit.

Kevin went with us. It was just the three of us.

It’s hard to describe what I was feeling when we walked into the funeral parlor and I saw my dad laying in the casket for the first time. It almost felt like a dream. Things started to get fuzzy around the edges of my vision and I felt a little … off kilter. It was like I was walking into an alternate universe – it didn’t feel real though there was my dad in the casket in front of me. Kevin stood back and me and mom walked up to the casket. I held back for a bit but I could see mom was really struggling so I went and stood by her placing an arm across her shoulders for support. I held it together pretty good. Dad looked pretty good though they hadn’t really worked on his hands and they looked mummified. I think his hands disturbed me the most.

We were there for a few hours. I’m REALLY GLAD that mom had that private time with dad. She stroked his hair and leaned down to speak to him. It was private and intimate and Kevin and I left the room to give her more privacy. She was in with him for another fifteen minutes and I could tell the staff was starting to get a bit antsy – it was probably time for them to go home and just when I was about to peek in to see how mom was doing, she came out.

Though she was in no way ready to say goodbye to him, I think having some alone time with dad really helped her and I was grateful to the funeral home for giving her the opportunity to have that one-on-one time with him. Everything happened so fast when he died that she really didn’t have a chance to say her goodbyes.

Me? I was surprisingly okay. I had tears in my eyes but I wasn’t sobbing – yet.

The day of the funeral was finally here. It was such a mixed bag of juxtapositions – we didn’t want to say goodbye but at the same time, we put off saying goodbye, officially, for a whole week. It was time.

I picked mom up from her house. Her brother and his wife had driven up from Texas and were at her house when I picked her up. They were going to follow us to the funeral home. We drove to the funeral home and then we left again to go pick up my Aunt, my mom’s sister, from her house. (My Aunt no longer drives). We returned to the funeral home and several more people had showed up while we were gone. My sister and her husband were there as well as my brother, his wife and their two boys. Kevin and the boys were there as well as dad’s brother and sisters.

Again, I was doing okay. Teary eyed but not sobbing. Kevin’s mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law arrived and we spent some time talking to them. It felt like it took forever for the funeral to start but when it did, that’s when I started to lose it. I sat by mom and my sister sat by me. We had a pastor from a church we didn’t belong to, (none of us belong to a church), direct the service and he did a good job. He and mom had a lengthy discussion about dad before the funeral so he had a lot of stories and facts about dad’s life – it was nice. The pictures mom and I collected of dad’ ‘s life were showing on a slideshow throughout the funeral. We obviously stayed until the very last minute and spoke to everyone that came.

To my shock, one of the people to pass us by and offer condolences was the nurse practitioner I work with! I thought that was sooo sweet of her to drop by! I hadn’t told her my dad’s name so she had to do some research to figure out who it was.

Since the burial was on Monday, (by the way, the VA approved dad), my brother and sister stuck around all weekend so we all hung out and got reacquainted. It’s so sad that it takes a death in the family to bring a family together. My sister and I hadn’t talked for about … ten-ish years? So it was REALLY GREAT to reconnect with her.

(My brother and sister have both come down a few times to hang out since the funeral and again, it has been SO NICE to see them. We’ve had some laughs and did A LOT of talking – it’s been so nice).

Monday came around and it was time for the burial. The boys rode with me and my mom rode with her brother. We all met at the cemetery where they gave dad a 21-gun salute and a really nice send off. I absolutely sobbed the entire time. Like, an ugly cry. I don’t know why I was crying so hard at the burial but it all seemed so … final, somehow. Also, it was just so nice that dad was being honored for his service – it was respectful and quite impressive. He would have liked it, I think.

It was a short service, only about 15 minutes. Then we were asked to leave. They said it would take about two hours for them to dig the grave and place him. So, my brother, sister and the other out-of-town guests left and two/three hours later, mom and I returned to see his grave. She had made arrangements for his tombstone before we left the burial so all we had to do was wait about six weeks for his tombstone to arrive. It was very emotional to stand there and stare at his pile of dirt. Mom also made arrangements for her to be buried on top of him when it’s her time. Her name and information will be engraved on the back side of dad’s tombstone. They will place her casket in the same hole on top of his casket – she’ll have the “top bunk” as the lady at the VA office told her.

I’ve been back a few times to see his tombstone and to say hi. It’s so weird to not have him around. We all thought he would stick around till his 90’s at least – both of his parents lasted that long.

My mom is handling it but she’s having a really hard time. Dad was her soulmate and she’s known him all her life – since 14 at least. She always knew she wanted to marry him. Seeing her hurting is heartbreaking and I wish I knew how to comfort her. This is a new territory for me and I feel a bit lost and completely out of my element trying to navigate this difficult time.

It’s amazing how you take life for granted. There is so much to do and so many excuses not to do it because you think, “there’s plenty of time for that.”

But there’s not, not really. Life is precious and every second/minute should be cherished and savored because you never know if you’ll go to sleep and never wake up.

Thanks for reading.

Reflections

August 2022 Reflections

Karen

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

August 1: I think I’m finally starting to get a handle on this new (ish) job. It was rough going at first, being thrown into the lion’s den and trying to sort through, organize and then come up with a system to keep track of everything. But I think I’m getting there. I’m not bored with this job, not sure that will ever be a problem since I’m E’s liaison between patients and other co-workers, but I’m definitely becoming more comfortable with the job itself and being around E. She is brainstorming to re-work/organize the clinic with the new girl starting soon. I’m very, VERY grateful she’s so organized and efficient as I think working with someone who is more seat-of-my-pants sort of person would be very hard for me. I’m not OCD, per se, but I definitely work better when there is a process. I bet it’s sort of fun for E to see her clinic expand and grow. She wants to eventually see 14 people per clinic day, which roughly works out to be about 55 to 60 patients per week that all three of us (when the new girl starts) will handle. That’s a lot. But our clinic is set up for the short term – E determines whether the patients we see are surgical or not and if they are, we schedule them with a surgeon, if they are not, then we refer them to non-operative doctors for further treatment options. We do end up seeing quite a few patients at least twice though to discuss how physical therapy or an injection went, so it’s not like a one and done sort of deal. She does a lot of test results, too. Meaning, if I set patients up for an MRI or CT then she will read the results and offer her recommendations and I will then call the patients and go through that with them and carry out E’s recommendations. That means I have a lot of phone work, which I detest, but it’s part of the job. Talking about this with her makes my chest tight because that’s a lot of pressure on me, but I can handle it. Pretty sure I had an anxiety attack today, though. Not fun.

August 2: Felt much better today. According to my Garmin Tracker, my heart rate got down to 61 last night. That might be a new record. In fact, my resting heart rate now stays in the mid-to-low 60’s. This is unusual for me because my resting heart rate rarely got below 75 in the past. What changed? Two things: I’ve gone through the change (menopause) and I do intermittent fasting (IF) every day. Yes. I’m still doing that. I eat between 1:00 PM and 6:00 PM every day. (Though honestly, if I really wanted to amp things up, I could shorten that window but I’m not disciplined enough or motivated enough to do that right now). Every since I started IF I’ve been feeling better and my labs certainly show it. The last time I had labs done, all of my numbers came back where they needed to be – so I must be doing something right. We only have Sarah for one more day before she has to go back to take care of her doctor. I’m going to miss her. She’s phenomenal. I wish we could keep her. The president of our clinic came up today and gave us kudos for jobs well done. She says she’s been hearing good things about our clinic from other doctors and the ER (we get a lot of patients from the ER). That was really good to hear. I think E was very pleased.

August 3: Days are blending together – I frequently forget what day of the week it is. Since we have clinic every day, it’s hard to keep them straight. When I worked with Dr. M., who only had clinic twice a week, (he was in surgery the rest of the week), it was easy to keep track of my days – clinic days and off clinic days. But now that we see patients every day, I struggle to remember what day it is. It’s sort of embarrassing, to be honest. I’m getting a small taste of what it must be like to work in a primary care physician’s office. Though you couldn’t PAY me enough to work in a PCP’s office. (Kudos to those of you that do).

August 4: We had a goodbye lunch with Sarah today. I’m actually going to miss her. I don’t really like a lot of people, but I really liked her. And I like E. She’s pretty great. I’m very blessed to be working with her. We get along so well. Blake rear-ended someone today. It was just a tap, thank God, no one was hurt, but still, I think it woke him up a bit. Unfortunately, it takes things like this to wake people up. Not that he doesn’t take driving seriously, but you take it MORE seriously when something like this happens. It didn’t really do a lot of damage to his car, just scratched it up. But that poor guy – he had someone scratch his car in the apartment parking lot, someone broke in to his car but luckily he didn’t have anything valuable in it so they didn’t take anything and now this. He loves that car, too. I’m just thankful no one was hurt. It doesn’t matter how old your kids get or how long they’ve been driving, they are still your children.

August 5: We bought black out curtains for the trailer. They are way too long but oh well.

August 6: Cut my hair shorter. I had asked for a lighter color last time and all it did was pull out too much red, which I hated, so I asked her to go darker this time. I’m thinking of getting highlights but probably not until next summer. It already costs so much to get my hair done, I shudder to think how much highlights will cost on top of cover my gray and trim cost.  Though my stylist does a good job, I hate how she styles my hair. And she puts all of this product in that does nothing but weigh it down and it feels and looks greasy. I always hate my hair when I leave the stylist. I should just ask her not to dry/style it next time. (Would that be cheaper? Hmm). And I’m too stubborn to wash my hair for a few days after getting it done because I’m afraid I’ll wash some of  the color out, so I look like a drowned rat for a few days. Pretty sure this is the opposite result of what you expect when you go to the salon but … been thinking a lot about the flu vaccine mandate coming up. I’ll be so glad when that issue is resolved however it turns out. (Pst – you can read this to find out how that turned out).

August 7: I woke up upset. I dreamt I couldn’t find my car and I was late to work and crying. I honestly fear getting older and losing my mind. I never want to live like that. I hate my hair but I’m glad it’s shorter. I’m clearly conflicted. I’m thinking of going shorter in November, (when I go to the salon again – I only go every 12 weeks because I’m too cheap to pay more often than that). I’m just thankful I still have hair, I suppose. Dear God I pray I still have my hair and my mind when I get older. It’s all about priorities.

August 8: I have mixed feelings about this job. I love it, but I get lonely. Now that I’m on a different floor than the rest of my co-workers, I get forgotten. And I get it. When I was on the 7th floor I completely forgot about the people on the 9th floor, too. Now, I’m one of those people that are being forgotten. We are kicking ass though, E and I. Our new girl starts next week. But I’m worried. Our patient load has decreased substantially. Our first new patient spot was three weeks out, now it’s tomorrow. I’m not sure what changed. We did have a new doctor start so I suppose that’s a big part of it, but E thinks there is something more going on and she’s looking into it. I’m just worried that our patient load will drop down and management won’t be able to justify the new girl coming in or even keeping our clinic open. I really like what I’m doing up here and I believe in what we’re doing – getting patients to doctors that can help them faster. (What patient can’t relate to feeling frustrated and tossed around from one provider to another). But if we don’t have the volume, then management will have to make some decisions. A lot of people have been leaving healthcare, too. I don’t blame them, healthcare has gotten a really bad wrap these past few years and it’s almost become toxic now. Which is a shame, honestly.

August 10: E brought in an $8 watermelon today. She bought it at a farmer’s market. It was a very good watermelon, but I’m not sure it was $8 great. EIGHT dollars for a watermelon?! No wonder people don’t want to eat healthy, it’s freaking expensive. Reached out to T, my old nurse. She’s loving being a school nurse – I bet the kids love her. I’m SOOO happy for her. Life is too short to be miserable.

August 11: E. is restructuring her clinic cheat sheets. We use these sheets to gather information for the providers. All of the doctors have cheat sheets though they vary from doctor-to-doctor. Now that I’m here, (that makes me sound so important), and the new girl is coming, she’s an LPN and will already have the basics down, E is starting to feel a bit more confident in her staff. So, she wants us to get more information from the patients when we room them so she has more information before going into the room and can focus more on the diagnosis and the plan as opposed to getting the information. It’s an art to communicate with patients. You want to get the information you need without rushing the patient and at the same time keep them on track so that you’re not in the room for 30 minutes. The goal is not to be in the room for more than 10 minutes and even that’s a bit too long. But we have to keep the pace going because there are other patients waiting, not to mention your provider is waiting on you so he/she can do his/her part. That’s why we always seem to be in a hurry when you go to the doctors’ office because we are. The MA’s are responsible for maintaining a flow so that we don’t put the provider behind and make other patients wait longer. That’s why it’s important for patients to answer our questions and not veer off into left field about an issue they are not seeing our provider about. I know patients don’t get that, but hopefully this gives you a bit of a glimpse into the healthcare world.

August 12: Kevin and I did our usual Friday night shopping. Groceries are definitely costing more money thanks to the bumbling idiot in the White House and a Democrat-run Congress that continues to spend money on crap we don’t need and can’t afford.

August 13: Woke up to a sinus headache. I haven’t one of those in a while. It’s likely because the weather is changing. I had to take half of a Sudafed. I can’t handle a whole one, it makes my heart race. I ended up sleeping another hour while waiting for it to kick in so my day got a late start but at least it got rid of the headache. If I don’t get those under control, it makes me nauseous and I throw up. Fun. Kevin asked me if I remember when I got my ears pierced, both times. I know, random question. I don’t remember what we were talking about that prompted that question but no, I don’t remember. At all. I have such a terrible memory, which is another reason I NEED to get back to blogging. But I just don’t dwell on the past, I’m always focused on the future. I need to re-train my brain. We bought locks for our trailer cabinets. I’m always afraid we are going to get to our destination and open the trailer door only to see every cabinet open and all of our stuff broken and on the floor.

August 14: I nearly fainted today. I went up to the middle school to use their track to walk and I got too hot. It was 88 degrees today. And the track is all in the sun – no shade at all. And I’m a dummy and didn’t take any water. About an hour into my walk I started feeling woozy and dizzy and had to sit in the shade for a bit. Any time I start to feel dizzy I freak out. I’m traumatized from my Vertigo episode, I guess. Ever since I’ve gone through the change I can’t tolerate heat like I used to. I don’t feel like I sweat as much as I used to, either. I used to sweat so much I would be SOAKED – like I just stepped out of a shower soaked – when I exercised. I get sweaty, but nothing like I used to. Something else I have to readjust to. Still worth not having a period though.

August 15: Getting nervous. I honestly don’t see how Emily is going to be able to run this clinic without me. (Yes. I have a healthy ego, why do you ask?) Sure. Management can rob Peter to pay Paul, (i.e., ask people from the 7th floor to fill in), but she’s really relying more and more on me and she’s getting to the point where she is expanding the clinic and seeing more patients so I’m feeling pressure to do a good job. If the hospital doesn’t approve my exemption, she’ll have to cut her patient load down again and basically start over. Went to Indeed.com today and saw that the law firm that drew up our living will is urgently hiring. Wouldn’t that be something to work for the lawyer that we used for our living will. My parents used them for their will and they weren’t impressed with the staff, probably because they were short staffed. Which I feel like every industry is short staffed right now because no one wants to work – but that’s a topic for another day. Have to re-start the stupid COVID tests soon. I had four months reprieve because I tested positive for COVID in May, (but didn’t even have a sniffle – suuuure), but now it’s time to pay the piper and start back up. Goody.

August 17: M, the new girl, is bored with her training on the 7th floor. They’ve been showing her how to room a patient and because it’s the same process over and over again, she feels like she has that down. I suggested she hang out with me so I can start teaching her our programs and how to schedule so she’ll be with us tomorrow. I really hope I get to continue scheduling patients. I don’t mind rooming patients but I LOVE to schedule. It reminds me of my old scheduling days. I also love to train people. I know. I’m one of THOSE people.

August 20: The boys hung out with us today. We ate at Culverts then had ice cream afterward. We had some good conversations and it warms my heart to get to know the adult version of our children. They are great people. We are very blessed.

August 21: Went for another walk around the track at the middle school today. I was smarter and actually took water and drank water about halfway through my walk. I like to walk about three miles. I really enjoy walking outside.

August 23: Rachelle, (my nephew’s wife), went into labor. I feel like she was one month overdue as there was some question about her actual due date but I’m sure I’m wrong. That’s a long time to be overdue. She had a mid-wife but she had complications during labor and ended up going to the hospital for a C-section. They had a boy! I’m sure my sister-in-law is thrilled as she has eight granddaughters and one grandson. E told me that if the hospital does not approve my flu vaccine exemption then I could work for her husband – he needs an assistant. I thought that was very sweet! We paid my legal secretary course off today! We’ll see if I actually have to use it. I tell you though, it’s nice to have a plan B, not gonna lie.

August 25: Trying to wrap things up at work so that we can drive to Texas tomorrow. Why is it when you are trying to leave work that’s when you get dumped on? So frustrating. I ended up staying at work until 6:00 PM even though I worked like a fiend today to try and get it done before closing. Oh well. Overtime. E is nervous about me leaving. In fact, she ended up moving a few clinics when I’m out. It’s not that she and M can’t handle it, but M is so new – it’s just too much too soon. I totally get that. I had big plans to go grocery shopping, pack and make the beds up in the trailer when I got off work but all I had energy for was to get shop for food. I’ll have to do the rest of it in the morning before we leave. Darn it.

August 26 – 31: Drove the trailer to Galveston Texas! (I’ll post about that vacation soon-ish – ha!)

At the Moment

I Did Something …

Karen

Yes, we’re one of THOSE people.

Kevin put our house lights up, too. We’re one of the first to put our lights up in the neighborhood. We’re now the house that everyone sniffs at as they drive past …

“Oh! Can you believe those people?! We haven’t even gotten through Thanksgiving yet!”

Meh. Think what you want. Though I will say this is the earliest we’ve ever put our decorations up. Why this year, you ask?

Beats me. I just felt like it. I love Christmas. It makes me happy. And when we turned the Christmas music on to decorate the tree … *swoon* – I just felt nostalgic, happy, peaceful and content.

I love those feelings.

By the way, our tree is fake and I’m not ashamed.

One of the reasons I’m posting this is because every year. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. When it comes time to put our tree up, Kevin and I have a debate on what color of lights we had the previous year.

EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

And every single year, neither one of us can remember.

EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

So this year, I thought I would take a picture and then post it, (because I take pictures and then can never locate them the next year) so that WHEN we have this conversation next year, we’ll remember what color lights we had.

Smart, eh?

Personally, I think white lights are my favorite, but Kevin likes the colored lights better. I like colored lights, especially since they remind me of the trees we had when I was little, but I don’t know, I like the white lights better. They’re … classier, I guess?

The boys, who have now fully moved into the rental house across the street, (LeRoy is in HEAVEN), walked across the street to help me decorate. It’s SO COOL to have them close. I think I’ve seen them more in the past week than I have in the past three months. And I didn’t even have to ask them. They found out I was putting the tree up and came over to help.

*sniff*

We usually put up our homemade ornaments every year. You know the ones, the ornaments that the kids made when they were in school. And the ones we have collected over the years on our travels. But this year … I don’t know, I just felt like doing something a little more … boring traditional, I guess?

I don’t think the boys liked it. They would prefer the handmade ornaments though they would rather have their eyes poked out than admit that. And I swear I detected a note of disappointment in Brandon’s voice when he found out I wasn’t throwing the cheap tinsel “icicles” on this year and instead used these:

Santa still comes to our house. At least for the boys. (Kevin and I don’t buy each other gifts anymore – we go on vacations together – that’s our gift to each other). In years past, the boys came over on Christmas Eve, we played games, snacked and then they spent the night. We then dragged their butts out of bed the next morning, they opened their gifts then we had breakfast together. I’m sure we’ll do something like that this year but they may just want to WALK over the next morning since they will literally be across the street from us.

We have a busy few weeks ahead, as I’m sure ya’ll do as well. We’re having a birthday/Thanksgiving day party at my parent’s this weekend. Then we’re hosting Kevin’s family on Thanksgiving day. And we’ll be hosting Christmas for my family at our house next month. I’m sure Kevin’s mom will want to have a Christmas party at her house sometime next month, too.

So yes. I put our tree up early. And I plan on enjoying every single moment.

When do you put your tree up? What color of lights do you like better? Do you have a real tree or a fake tree?

Talk to me. I’m curious.

Work Stuff

Things You Shouldn’t Do When You Visit Your Doctor – Part Two

Karen

(The things not to do “rules” came from this website. I thought I would run through the most common ones here and offer my thoughts since I work in a doctor’s office. You can read part one here).

1. Never Ask Your Doctor to Lie

I know this seems self-explanatory and when would you ask your doctor to lie, but it happens more than you think it does.

The incidents that come to my mind are when patients want to stay off work longer, or not wanting to go back to work at all, or they want the doctor to document that they are sicker than they really are because they need to appear that way in order to qualify for something or get something.

I can ASSURE you, doctors are not willing to forfeit their licenses to help you be dishonest. It’s morally and ethically wrong and they won’t do it. Don’t even ask. And if you ask, you’re risking the possibility the doctor will not see you back.

Yes. Doctors CAN refuse to see you and they can most certainly “fire” you from their practice. Don’t be that person.

2. Never Get Too Many Opinions

A second opinion is fine, in fact, we encourage it and it’s certainly the patient’s right to do so. You want to make sure what the original doctor is telling you is correct and it’s helpful to get a second pair of professional eyes on the situation just to ensure nothing was missed or missed diagnosed. And mayyyybe a third opinion, but you’re pushing it. Anything more than three opinions and you’re running the risk of the doctor not seeing you at all.

When patients seek multiple opinions it doesn’t send a very positive message. Why so many? Do you not trust the doctors you’ve seen so far? Are you just looking for someone to give you the answer you want? It’s not a good look and if doctors find out you’ve seen six other doctors for the same issue, they will refuse to see you at all.

3. Never Drink Coffee Before You’ve Been Shown Back to the Exam Room

Okay, maybe NEVER is a strong word. Of course, bring your coffee with you to your appointment but it’s best NOT to drink it before we have a chance to get your blood pressure because it will absolutely affect your blood pressure, i.e. elevate your blood pressure. It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s better not to do it just so we can get a more accurate blood pressure.

And a quick note about blood pressure in general. There are MANY reasons your blood pressure could be elevated. Pain, of course. Diet, caffeine, your overall physical health, being nervous. Remember, when we get your blood pressure, that number reflects what your blood pressure was IN THAT MOMENT. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s that way all the time. That’s why your general doctor will ask you to keep a log so that they can calculate the average, which will give them a better overall idea on what your blood pressure truly is.

4. Never Forget to Report Over-the-Counter Medications, Vitamins and Supplements

I know. Talking about medications every time you go to a doctor, especially when your doctors are all part of the same medical system, is a pain in the butt. Trust me when I say, we hate going through them with the patients just as much. So please, stop the attitudes, okay?

It’s important to go through medications every visit because quite often, patients have discontinued a medication but it wasn’t removed from the list. So, if a doctor sees you’re on something they will be less likely to prescribe you a refill or something else – it’s important to keep the medication list updated. So when we ask if there have been any changes, you need to tell us so we can ensure those changes are in your chart.

I probably get the most attitude about vitamins, supplements and OTC medications. The doctor needs to know EVERYTHING you’re taking. (And this includes marijuana!). The biggest reason is because supplements can sometimes be contraindicated (which means they negatively interact with another medication) with a prescription medication and we don’t want to inadvertently send you to the ER because of a reaction.

Don’t blow this off. Keep track of what you’re taking and let your doctor know.

5. Never Forget to Ask Questions

Patients have a lot of questions and understandably so. They are trying to make sense about what is happening with their bodies and the more information a patient knows, the better.

And we want to answer their questions. But the clinical staff can only answer so many questions – we’re not the doctors. So. PLEASE write down your questions and bring them with you to your appointment. When you get here, you’re hurting and distracted and 9 times out of 10, people forget to ask something, call the office and then get frustrated when we don’t have an answer for them. Appointments are YOUR reserved time with the doctor to ask him/her your questions. Make the most of that time because trust me when I say, a doctor’s time is VERY valuable.

And side note: Once a doctor leaves the room, he/she is DONE. Appointment over. Patients will remember something they forgot to ask and they will ask the staff to ask the doctor to go back into their room. I can pretty much guarantee you that is not going to happen. You’ll just have to leave your questions with the staff and they will ask the doctor when they can and get back to you.

Sorry. But that’s just the way it is. If a doctor had to backtrack on every patient he/she saw that day, he/she would not only be behind, he/she would never get anything else done. Use your appointment time wisely.

6. Never Save the Most Important Part for Last

Look. You’re there to see the doctor about specific issues, (most likely). Doctors and the staff simply don’t have time to work up to the issue you’re there to see the doctor about. Get to the point. Tell us where it hurts. The quicker we get to the problem, the quicker the doctor can diagnose you and the quicker the staff can carry out his orders and get you on your way.

And please. Don’t give us attitude when we’re asking you questions about your pain. I promise, there is a good reason we’re asking these seemingly benign questions. Believe me when I say, we have much better things to do than stand there and play 20 questions with you to find out what is wrong. Be patient.

7. Never Show Up with Small Children

There is nothing more distracting than trying to talk around, or over, a crying, fussy child. Not to mention, it’s distracting to the doctor and the patient and questions don’t get asked and everything is rushed and inefficient.

It stresses us, the doctor, the patient and other patients out when we have to deal with a screaming child.

Doctors’ offices are incredibly boring to a child. And we have better things to do than to try and distract your child while also doing our job. I know it’s not always possible to leave a child with someone when you have an appointment but if you can avoid it, please make arrangements for someone to watch your children while you’re at the doctor’s office. You will be more relaxed, your doctor can focus and we can work on giving you the best care we’re capable of.

8. Never Say “I Know My Body”

Look. I get it. I’m one of those people that know their bodies, too. And it’s not a bad thing to be in tune with your body so that when something weird happens you notice it.

However …

Doctors have years of education and experience so they know what they’re talking about. Can they get something wrong? Of course, they’re human, but don’t assume you know more than they do because it’s just insulting. That’s why is so important for you to be honest with your doctor about your pain and symptoms so that he/she can accurately diagnose you.

But …

If something feels wrong or off, absolutely tell your doctor about it. Just don’t insult their intelligence when you do so.

Doctors have BIG egos, in case you weren’t aware. 🙂

9. Never Stay on Your Cell Phone when Staff Walks In

People, seriously, I PROMISE you the world will not end if you rip your eyeballs from your phone. Put it down. You will survive without it.

First of all, it’s rude to not put down your phone when people are talking to you in general. But it’s SUPER rude when you can’t look away from your phone to pay attention to medical staff or the doctor. Think of it this way – you’re PAYING for this appointment, don’t you want to get your money’s worth? And if someone calls you while you’re in the exam room with staff or the doctor, let it go to voicemail. We had a lady answer her phone one time while the doctor was with her and he walked out of the room! The lady opened the door and asked if he was going to come back and we told her yes, he would be back but he was with the next patient and she would have to wait on him now. She wasn’t happy but she deserved it. Don’t be that lady!

Another note about cell phones: sometimes we have patients ask if they can call someone that couldn’t make it to the appointment with them and put them on speaker phone so they can hear what the doctor has to say. Doctors are not crazy about this idea, but most of the time they will say yes because they understand people have to work and can’t get away. But ask the medical staff before the doctor goes in so we can give him/her a head’s up on the request before they walk in. They don’t like surprises.

10. Never Try and Get Advice for Someone Who is Not the Patient

It is unethical for the doctor to give out medical advice for anyone other than the patient. Don’t even try and bring it up, I promise you, the doctor will shut it down, fast. If you know someone that needs medical help, that patient needs to make an appointment.

End of discussion.

Work Stuff

A Walk Through My Working Life

Karen

(Ignore my hair – I was bored and experimenting).

These are a few work “diaries” I made when I first started my job as an MA. I wish I had kept up with these videos, just to document my journey and struggles, but in some ways, I’m glad I didn’t – they just would have been videos complaining and who wants to hear that.

But these two videos were made at pivotal moments in my “career”, (and that’s in quotations because I still, to this day, don’t think of my job as a career – probably because I’m prepared to walk away at a moment’s notice), so I thought you might find it interesting to watch them. The first one was on September 27, 2011. I had just gotten hired on September 19, 2011 and I had no idea what I was doing. I was grappling to figure what was going on and how I could make sense of it enough for me to jump in and do my part.

I wasn’t trained well. I was trained with blinders one, meaning, I didn’t SEE the big picture. How was my work affecting everyone else’s job. I would literally stare at the computer and the different programs, and all of the options just to try and make sense of it because no one taught WHY we did what we did.

I would go home CRYING because I was so frustrated and felt stupid because I wasn’t “getting” it. But I didn’t give up and I slowly starting figuring out what my role was and what I was supposed to do. And then I started figuring out ways to be more efficient and soon, I was ROCKING it.

But it wasn’t easy and I’m proud of myself for conquering a career I knew NOTHING about. Google was my best friend back in those days and if I came across a term I didn’t understand, I looked it up. I listened to pronunciations through Merriam Webster so that I could correctly say medical terms because I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of patients, or my co-workers.

Because of my training experience, when it came time for me to train new people. I made a point to focus on the WHY we did things. I wanted to make sure the new people coming in saw the big picture so that what we were asking them to do would make more sense. I’ve been told I’m a good trainer, I don’t know about that, but I do know the people I train tend to stick around longer and do better, overall.

I felt confident in what I was doing and I truly loved it. I THRIVE on multi-tasking to this day and scheduling for three, (sometimes more because I was that good – not cocky, just honest),back then required a lot of quick thinking and volleying back and forth between taking care of patients that were in front of me, patients on the phone and internal messages from the clinical team asking me to do various things.

I. WAS. CRUSHING. IT.

But it was an exhausting pace. There was NEVER a down day, or a slow day – it was a marathon sprint from the moment I clocked on to the moment I clocked off. And everything was on a deadline. I would schedule testing and the clock would start ticking. Would the insurance companies approve the testing in time for the appointment? Patients that called yesterday will start calling back because they haven’t heard back or haven’t gotten an answer yet. In the meantime, I still have to go through my doctors’ upcoming schedules to make sure the patients have completed the tasks that the doctor recommended they complete before they come back. If not, I had to call them and reschedule them because nothing makes a doctor more cranky than to see a patient back that didn’t do what they wanted them to do.

What’s the point?

I got to the comfortable stage. I’VE GOT THIS. I was confident, fast, efficient and people were now coming to me for help. It was awesome.

Fast forward two years and then this happened:

The result of that meeting? My scheduling job ended up being absorbed into an MA position. I had mixed feelings. I was scared, because what do I know about being an MA, I was angry, because I loved being a scheduler, I was nervous, because I had no idea which doctor they would assign me with and let’s face, neurosurgeons are SCARY. Some of them had a reputation of being volatile and hard to please.

My world, the world I struggled to understand, control and then conquer, just imploded.

I’ll make a follow up video soon about my experience entering the world of being a Medical Assistant and what these past NINE years have been like. This is actually a good time to make another video because my working world has just changed again these past few months and now I’m entering a new phase of my working life.

Stay tuned.

Reflections

July 2022 Reflections

Karen

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

July 1: It was T’s last day – Dr. M and H’s nurse. She got a job as a school nurse and our dream team was officially broken. It was sort of broken when I made the decision to be E’ full-time MA, but now it was truly broken. I went down to talk to her a few times and I cried the last time. I just didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t keep my emotions under control. I truly thought we would all be together for another ten years – I was fully convinced of that. But our crappy management ended up tearing us apart and well… It’s so rare to find people that you enjoy, first of all, and work well together, secondly, that when it breaks up, it just guts you. I’m so glad that we got to do so many fun things together and made some pretty great memories. I turned a lot of our group photos into magnets and the front of our fridge is full of memories. I smile every time I open the fridge. Fun times. It’s so sad that it had to come to an end.

July 2: I was absolutely drained today. Too many emotions from yesterday, I guess. I did manage to take a shower and go tan but that was about it. I feel a little depressed today. It’s been so hot! The grass is crunchy.

July 3: Since Blake has to work tomorrow night, we decided to get together today so Blake could eat with us. Kevin grilled hamburgers and the boys came over. We ended up chatting for a few hours about them moving into the rental house. They have been in this apartment … I want to say five years and they are ready for a change. They are tired of dealing with noisy neighbors and their parking lot situation is awful. If they get home late there are no parking spots and they have to park far away and they’ve both been having problems with people dinging their cars. Blake even had his car broken into but luckily, there wasn’t anything valuable in his car. He forgot to lock it one night. I bet he doesn’t forget to do that again. The rental house doesn’t have a garage but it does have a car port so at least they don’t have to worry about anyone parking too close or breaking in. They seem pretty excited about moving in. Their lease is up in February so we have a ways to go but it was nice to seem them perk up.

July 4: Spent the day purging my thoughts out via my blog and my journal. Yes. I’m still journaling. I haven’t missed a day all year so far. It really helps me clear my mind and give me peace. I highly recommend it. You don’t have to do anything fancy, just get a notebook and start writing. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after writing stuff down. I picked Brandon up and we went to sit at our usual place across the street from the nearby country club to mooch off their fireworks. They weren’t as good this year and didn’t last as long. Probably budget cuts. Who can afford to be a member of a country club in this day and age? Still. It was nice and didn’t cost us anything so win! Kevin used his telescope and looked at the moon. He actually got a few really good pictures with his phone.

Don’t you think it’s weird we haven’t been back to the moon? The technology is far superior to what it was in the 60’s. Why haven’t been back? I have a theory – we never went to begin with.

July 5: Sounds like Dr. M is getting an MA faster than I thought he would. Not sure how I feel about it. Of COURSE he needs a new MA, he can’t go without one forever. But I’m jealous. I feel like she’s stealing my work family. I know it’s silly to feel that way, but I do. I’m supposed to cover for him a few times next week and I’m sure the new girl will be with me those days – I’m withholding judgement until that time. I want her to be a decent MA but I’m not going to lie, I hope she’s not as good as I was. I know it’s selfish to think that, but well, I’m selfish, I guess. Had a patient yell at me today. Can’t even remember why. But here’s the thing with me and patients – I will always give 150%. But I have a line and cross that line, and all bets are off. I no longer care enough to get upset. *shrug* That’s just the way it is.

July 6: Had someone helping with clinic today. It was nice to have someone room the patients giving me time to return phone calls and work on messages and tasks I’ve been putting on the back burner. However, this girl is not the greatest and E won’t be actively trying to recruit her full time. Besides, she’s applying other places so she likely won’t be around much longer anyway. We haven’t really had any applications so I’m anticipating being by myself for a while. I can do it, but the pace is exhausting.

July 8: E. brought me flowers from her garden today as a way to say thank you and they were PERFECT. Even more beautiful than what you would buy in a flower shop. That’s one of many thing I like about E., she’s VERY appreciative and it feels nice to be told that. I know my old team appreciated me and H. and T. were great about showing that, but D. M., well, he’s a man, so what do you expect, but a simple thank you once in a while would have gone a LONG way, you know? E. thanks me every day and though it’s a little embarrassing I would by lying if I didn’t say that it makes me feel good that I’m helping her. She’s going on vacation next week and I think she’s a little nervous. Last time she went on vacation with her old MA she came back to absolute mess which makes me even more determined to make sure I take care of things while she’s gone. It’s so weird not having a nurse to go through like I did with Dr. M., on the 7th floor. Up here, it’s just me and E. I’m the one everyone comes to with questions, (of course, I run these by E., I don’t make decisions without her approval), but it’s both nice and stressful to be in that position. To basically be the spokesperson for our little clinic. It’s a little nerve wracking.

July 9: Holy cow I’m tired. It was one of those days I simply could not summon any energy at all. I could have easily slept all day. I remember days like this before I met Kevin when I was working at Wendys and living by myself. Some days off I would literally sleep all day and then go to bed early and sleep all night. I felt great the next day, though. I think sometimes, my body just shuts down and says, “nope, you’re done.” I think it’s all of the stress I’ve been under lately learning this new clinic and trying to be perfect for E. I have a motto: I never want to the be the reason something didn’t get done or got done incorrectly. Not very realistic but I’m a perfectionist and I give EVERYTHING to my job. I do wonder sometimes, though, if I don’t have a touch of chronic fatigue. Maybe I just need more iron.

July 10: My right arm is killing me. I don’t know if it’s coming from my neck or my shoulder. It hurts between my shoulder and my elbow and reaching behind me is excoriating. I think it might be because I have my right arm up on my desk hovering over my mouse all day – keeping that position can’t be good. I’ll use the heating pad tonight and see if that helps.

July 11: Since E. is out, I worked Dr. J’s clinic today. It was a Telemedicine clinic which is challenging as you have to put your IT hat on and troubleshoot to get people into the virtual room. I also like it because you don’t have to physically deal with people. But working his clinic today really emphasized the stress and general unhappiness on the 7th floor and I’m so grateful that I don’t have to deal with that anymore. It makes me appreciate E that much more. I hope she’s having a good vacation with her family. She deserves from fun. She’s had a rough year.

July 12: Got a text from Dr. M’s medical secretary today – the MA for Dr. S. called in sick and she asked if I could cover the clinic. Of course I said yes. I really like Dr. S. That’s one thing with this job, you have to be flexible and willing to pivot at a moment’s notice.

July 13: Worked Dr. M’s clinic today. I worked it with his new MA. It was weird to work his clinic after so much time away from it. It felt off and weird without T there to spearhead things. The work dynamic felt off. It was cathartic for me, though. It felt like closure. I needed that, I think. I highly doubt I work his clinic again any time soon.

July 14: Dr. M’s new MA was supposed to sit with me so I could go over some specific preferences with her and she came up with a lame excuse to get out of it. It made me so angry that I text H to let her know because I didn’t want her think that I dropped the ball if/when the MA screws up. H wasn’t happy to hear that and management came up to me later and asked me not to do that in the future, to give this new girl a chance. It’s hard to give someone a chance when she’s not interested but whatever, she feels like she knows it all. Fine. Knock yourself out. Speaking of management. Our assistant director sat down with me, (with everyone, not just me), to let me know that our old manager was no longer our manager and she didn’t have any authority to tell us what to do. All management duties were being transferred to him from that point forward. It was great news! This manager was the reason several people, including T, left. It’s too bad they couldn’t have made this change before T put her notice in!

July 15: My teeth are really starting to bother me. *sigh* I can’t put this off much longer. I made an appointment with my dentist. Let’s see how bad my teeth have gotten. It’s always bad news when I go to the dentist. My teeth are terrible.

July 16: Tossing around the idea of doing a book review podcast. Probably won’t happen but it’s fun to think about.

July 17: Watched a productivity video today and the guy said he puts a number in the front of his journal every year. This number is the number of days you have left to live. Sounds morbid but bear with me. He gets this number by taking your age, times 365 and subtracting that number from 32850. The 32850 is the number of days you would live assuming you lived to be 90. Now, not everyone will live to be 90 and a some people will live longer than 90 but it gives you a ball park number of the number of days you have left. This is to impress upon you the importance of living each day to it’s fullest and I have to say, it’s sobering but eye opening.

July 18: E is back from vacation! She told me all about and it sounds like she had an amazing time. She went to Arizona and it really makes me want to go. I really want to go to Montana, Utah, Wyoming and the Dakotas, too. We’ve never been that far north and it’s on my camping list, for sure. We’re supposed to be borrowing an MA from Neurology for the next three weeks. The Neurologist she works for is from India and he’s going back home to see his family so she’ll be free to help us. I hope she’s good. If not, I would rather be by myself, quite frankly.

July 19: Sarah, the girl from Neurology, is AMAZING!! We would LOVE to steal her but alas, she’s pretty attached to her doctor. She was a huge help and the day went smoothly. We had a few fires to put out by the end of the day and E and I stayed late to take care of that, but overall, it was a great day. We had a potential hire come by today and I had to give her the elevator pitch on what we did in our clinic. I hope I sold it. She seemed nice. She’s an LPN. I think that would be a great addition to the clinic but I don’t know if she would this position, it’s really more geared toward an MA rather than an LPN and I would worry that she would get bored with us. I had to push two patients out to their cards in the parking lot today and my shoulder KILLED me. I’m not at the point where I want to go to the doctor about it yet, but GAH, it was painful.

July 20: E. gave me a pouch that she picked up on her vacation – it says “I hate people.” She’s starting to know me! Ha! Brandon came over and surprised me as I was eating dinner. His electric window broke and he had picked up the part and was waiting on Kevin to get home so they could fix it. I’m SO THANKFUL for Kevin. He’s a jack of all trades and it’s so nice that he can fix pretty much anything. It was 102 degrees today and it’s supposed to be 100 the rest of the week. Super hot summer this year!

July 21: Sarah had a scare today. A neighbor called her to tell her her mom was experiencing severe vertigo and asked if she could check in on her when she got off work. I felt so bad for her! Speaking from experience, Vertigo is NOT FUN and it brought back my four days of hell.

July 22: Kevin and LeRoy left for their camping trip. I tried to talk Kevin out of it because it was supposed to be over 100 this weekend. That’s MISERABLE weather to camp in. Trust me.

July 23: Kevin said they lost power at the campsite. Not good on a 100 degree day!! He’s talking about maybe installing some solar panels on the trailer in case this happens in the future. Sounds expensive.

July 25: The hired the LPN and she’s going to work with us! Yay! I’m so excited to have someone permanent in the clinic. I guess I did a pretty good job selling our clinic to her! Ha!

July 29: We spent $120 grocery shopping tonight for virtually NOTHING. Fuck Joe Biden and his “Build Back Better” bullshit. I can’t wait to vote his ass out of office. GRR.

July 30: Went Kevin’s parents’ house. Jeanne made tacos for LeRoy’s birthday. I felt SO BAD when we got there and it was very obvious she was having teeth pain. Her face was swollen and she said had a tooth abscess and here we are, eating the dinner she worked hard to make feeling like crap. Discovered Stationary Pal today and I’m hooked. You can get super cheap stationary items from China. Which makes me feel guilty but did I mention they’re cheap?

General

Cashing in Trash

Karen

Did you know … that we go through people’s trash?

And by “we” I mean, Kevin and LeRoy.

Did you know … that we live in a throw away society?

It never ceases to amaze me the kind of stuff Kevin finds on his “treasure hunts.”

He and LeRoy go out several times a week and hit garage sales, estate sales, thrift stores, even the trash people leave by the side of the road with “FREE” signs on it, looking for treasures to either fix up, our personal use, decorate our house(s), (remember we have the rental house across the street), or, put in one of Kevin’s booths.

He has three of them.

Booths, not houses.

He started this “hobby” about five years ago. He started small, just some shelves but he quickly upgraded to a booth when he started to consistently find some pretty great finds for dirt cheap. His hobby soon turned into a business.

And more booths.

All of these booths are in the same building; he’s vendor 5150.

He not only enjoys the hunt, he makes some decent money as well. Sure, he has to pay booth rental but he still makes a nice profit every month. It’s a lot of work but he truly enjoys it. I also think it’s a great outlet for his creativity because Kevin is very creative he’s creative with his hands, I’m creative with my words. He sticks most of his stuff in his booth, as is, though he does fix up a few things and ups the price for his labor of love, but for the most part, what you see is what you get.

I don’t go with him. This is something that he and LeRoy enjoy doing together but I have gone with him a few times when we’re out-of-town and I have to admit, it’s sort of fun. Instead of seeing a piece of junk, I’m learning to view it as potential. Just because it’s used doesn’t mean it’s trash, right? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right?

And honestly, it’s more like an act of service for the community – who has time to scour all of these outlets to find treasures? Kevin does the work for you and literally displays his wares in his booths for people to sort through and (hopefully) buy.

He talked me into going to a Goodwill with him one night after one of our dinners out and I found a NICE leather jacket for $25.00 and a blazer for $10.00 and I was hooked. I definitely don’t go as often as him but I no longer turn my nose up at the thought of shopping at Goodwill.

Yes. I was one of THOSE people.

He’s constantly arranging, re-arranging his inventory. He says he “layers” his inventory so when the first layer is bought he can just pull out the second layer and so forth.

Speaking of “inventory,” Oh Lord. I’m constantly coming home to new items either lying on the table for him to take on his next trip to the booths, or new pictures on the walls, or little knick-knacks he finds and puts on my desk. It’s like treasure hunting in my own home. And apparently, I haven’t seen it with my own eyes but I can just imagine, the basement at the rental house is wall-to-wall “inventory”. (I hate to call it junk but …). It’s starting to look like those nightmare houses on the show “Hoarders.” He calls this inventory his “savings account.” I’m still not sure what that means even after he has explained it to me like a 100 times, but … whatever makes the man happy, right?

I think he will continue to do this even after he retires – which he plans on doing in about a year. He thoroughly enjoys it and when he finds a true treasure and he tells me about the “hunt” with sparkling eyes, I can tell he truly loves the process. It keeps him busy and active and who am I to stand in his way?

Happy husband, happy wife, right?