A to Z Challenge

I is for Inked

Let’s talk about tattoos.

First let me say, I’m one of those people who don’t “get” tattoos. I just don’t. To me, they’re a form of self-mutilation and extremely ugly. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen a beautiful woman with tattoos and just shook my head – WHY mar that beauty with ink? It just doesn’t make sense to me. That beauty has been distorted with something artificial and garish and that makes me really sad.

But I pride myself on being fair, so let’s be fair – tattoos are personal. Everyone gets them for different reasons. And some people truly think they’re beautiful, make some sort of statement and they’re proud of their tats.

Fine. It’s really none of my business why people get their tattoos. It’s a personal choice and the beauty of free will is that people can exercise that free will. I could stand on my soapbox and condemn people for choosing to do something of their own free will, to their own bodies. But I won’t. It’s not my place to tell people how to live their lives or what to do with their bodies. I personally don’t agree with it, but that’s my opinion. In the whole scheme of things, it doesn’t matter what I think.

But I’ll be honest, I have preconceived notions of people who choose to scar their bodies. Whenever I see a person with a tattoo, my opinion of that person drops about five degrees. That’s probably an unfair assessment to make on my part, but that’s my first reaction. I don’t have any respect for them and automatically assume that they are the kind of person who probably doesn’t like to obey rules and laws. That they likely have emotional issues or feel insecure in themselves and feel like tattoos validate them in some way. Or maybe they’re using their tattoos to hide behind bigger, emotional issues.

Again. It’s probably not fair for me to jump to those conclusions, but those are my first thoughts whenever I see someone with tattoos. And I daresay, most people probably think the same things I do whenever they see an individual with tattoos – which begs the question, are you okay with people thinking those things about you?

You may not care, and that’s fine. Again, it really doesn’t matter what I, or anyone else, thinks about your personal choices. I’m just trying to keep it real.

I’m more likely to accept (excuse?) a person with small tattoos on covered parts of their body. To me, that person is thumbing their nose at society, but doing it on their terms. I can dig that. I”m like that on many levels, though crossing the tattoo threshold is something I am not willing to do. Small, tasteful tattoos, that’s cool. I can sort of get those.

But the tattoos that cover an entire person’s body, or exist for the sole purpose of altering one’s appearance – I’m sorry, but that person has some serious mental issues and most likely needs to see someone other than their tattoo artist for help. Again, my opinion; take it or leave it.

Curious, I did a little research about what the Truth or Tradition ministry said about tattoos. I was surprised to hear their answer, quite frankly, but it made sense. I expected them to condemn tattoos but in fact, they don’t. Again, it’s a Christian’s choice what to do with their body and it all depends on where their heart is and what their intent is when they get a tattoo.

It’s a Matter of the Heart
Having obtained freedom in Christ, we must be careful to never use our freedom to cause others to stumble. Attempting to live with our hearts in the right place is much more difficult than merely following rules and regulations. It takes much more maturity to think things through and separate right from wrong, and to determine the loving thing to do and then do it than it does to merely have rules to follow. Too often Christians have reduced walking with Christ to a matter of rules and regulations instead of living and doing from a heart of love. What we do will always be wrong if we do it with the wrong motive, and for Christians, love must always be the dominating motive of our hearts. It is never considered loving to put a stumbling block in the path of our brothers or sisters.

Wrong Motives
Our hearts are very complex, and many of the things we do are the result of having a mixture of motives. We may want a tattoo because we think it looks good, communicates to others a message about “who we are,” or shows our love for someone or something. Before anyone ever gets a tattoo he should always take time to closely examine his motives. The two main things that should never be motives for a tattoo are rebellion and rejection.

The Motive of Rebellion
Some people are unaware of the rebellion that lives in their hearts and that their tattoos reflect an antisocial or ungodly heart. It is a sobering thought to remember that God says that rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft (1 Sam. 15:23). Stories abound of people who got a tattoo when they were intoxicated, on drugs, or angry, all of which are states of rebelliousness. Rebellious tattoos often fall into the category of dark and sinister images such as death, skulls, demons, dragons, spiders, and other frightening, menacing, or evil objects. There are also tattoos that are occultic in nature or are pagan symbols such as “Thor’s Hammer,” Masonic emblems, nature worship, or the symbols of eastern religions. These types of images promote false gods and belief systems and are always wrong. Rebellious tattoos are never a godly blessing to others and they often reflect the hurt and pain that resides in the person’s heart by promoting beliefs and religions that are opposed to God’s truth. In other words, they promote evil.

The Motive of Rejection
Another motive that people are often unaware of is rejection. Many people have a great sense of unworthiness, being unlovable, or feeling “not good enough” because of the ungodly root of rejection that lives in their hearts. Rejection causes great emotional pain and is often the trigger behind people’s actions. Many times people act out with a “tough guy” (or girl) persona that is really masking the great hurt from the rejection in their hearts. Tattoos can be used to mask rejection by portraying an image that is not who the person really is on the inside. Sometimes people with rejection issues act in ways that cause others to reject them. There are some types of tattoos and some locations on the body that are never acceptable. Great care must be taken to discern the motive of the heart before anyone ever permanently alters his body with a tattoo.

Tattoos Will Not Change Who You “Really Are”
Getting a tattoo that says “courageous” does not impart courage any more than wearing a cowboy hat makes someone a cowboy. Tattoos will not “make you anything” other than the same person you were before, except now you have ink permanently embedded in your body. Examine your heart first, and if you recognize rebellion or rejection as your motive, and if you are not operating from a place of love and faith, do not get a tattoo.

So yeah, I’m not personally into them, I personally think they’re ugly, but I’m not going to condemn a person because they choose to get one. I have to work on changing what I think about people who get them, but ultimately, it’s none of my business what someone does with their body.

I just hope their hearts are in the right place – that’s all I really care about.

P.S. The Truth or Tradition ministry has a wonderful five-part video series on tattoos. They talk about the biblical implications of tattoos, ungodly tattoos and they even offer you some tips to consider before getting at tattoo. If you’re thinking about going down this road, please take a moment to really think it through before actually doing it.


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge

H is for Healing

Next week will be one year since Kevin’s motorcycle accident. That was a nightmarish trip I wouldn’t wish on ANYONE.

For those just tuning in …

I got a call last April 16th that no wife, no mother, no PERSON ever wants to get. It was from a man I did not know. He was an eye witness to Kevin’s accident and was calling me to let me know what was going on and that Kevin was being taken to a nearby hospital.

It was hard to hear him over the sirens in the background.

It was a horrific experience. I thought he had died when I got a call from the hospital chaplain asking me how soon I would get there. I was in the hospital parking lot when he called. I have quite honestly never had a more terrifying moment than when I got that call.

Long story short – Kevin had shattered his pelvis (one doctor compared it to a bag of broken glass) and had to be moved to Columbia Missouri because no one in Springfield could operate on him – that’s how badly he was injured.

My mother-in-law and I lived at the Columbia hospital for two weeks before they finally moved him back to Springfield where he stayed in a rehabilitation facility for another 2 1/2 weeks before being deemed fit enough to go home. In that interim, I had to learn how to take care of him, how to transfer him from the bed to his wheelchair, how to help him use the bathroom, etc. Since he had three surgeries to implant three metal plates and several rods to reconstruct his pelvis, he wasn’t allowed to put any weight on his legs for six weeks. We had a hospital bed in our living room and my father-in-law and brother-in-law came over and built a ramp so we could get Kevin in and out of the house in his wheelchair.

Once he was given the green light to begin rehabilitation exercises, it didn’t take Kevin long to re-learn to walk again. He soon graduated from a wheelchair to a walker. He was so determined not to allow this accident to take anything away from his life, he INSISTED that we continue with our vacation plans and go to New York and sail to Canada. Which we did – and it was NOT easy on Kevin (or any of us, quite frankly).

However, because of his determination and courage, he began to heal by leaps and bounds after our New York trip. He soon graduated from a walker to a cane and only needed the cane a few weeks before tossing it aside.

He’s now walking normally again, though has a slight limp and still has trouble with his right foot. But he has refused to allow the accident to slow him down and he went back to work (in fact, he opened his own business) and has been busy crawling under the house and digging up our backyard for a patio.

He’s truly an inspiration to me.

I recorded his journey on the CaringBridge website – partially to let friends and family know how he was doing and partially because it helped ME to process everything I was going through by being his helpmate and rock. The CaringBridge website gives people an option to turn their journal into a book and that’s what I did.

I received the book yesterday.

caring-bridge

We couldn’t be more pleased with it.

The CaringBridge people also included the guestbook, which a lot of people left comments in, and it’s really nice to have a record of all the nice things people wrote us during those trying times.

It was expensive, but well worth it. We now have a physical reminder of that horrific few months in 2010 when our world shattered around our ears.

With God’s grace, Kevin not only survived the accident (and many people in this type of accident do NOT survive), but he’s back to normal and getting stronger every day.


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge, Abundant Life

G is For Good Grief

This post isn’t about the “Good Grief” as in “Oh brother, what now?” but about the actual process of grieving, of losing someone we love.

Grief is never “good”, but we can grieve in a “good” way. In fact, grieving is essential when dealing with loss and then slowly piecing our shattered lives back together again.

I know this is a Christian-based teaching, but this teaching has a lot of helpful tips on how to process grief in a healthy and helpful way.

I hope these videos bless you and if you’ve suffered a loss recently, I’m so sorry. (((hugs)))


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge

F is For Fractious

Definition of FRACTIOUS
1: tending to be troublesome : unruly
2: quarrelsome, irritable

(This is definitely me … most some days).

I saw this word used in a comment yesterday on a post about how mom bloggers seem to be getting more and more hateful toward one another (going so far as to actually create “hate” sites where the sole purpose of said site is to trash talk other bloggers – sheesh people, get a life) as time marches on and as newbies jump on the blogging bandwagon, and I had to look it up. Actually, I sort of guessed what the meaning was in the context, but I was curious enough to get the “official” meaning.

And since the topic of the post I found this word on has always sort of fascinated me, let’s talk about it. Or rather, I’ll write my thoughts out and you can read them. (Or not. Totally your call. If not, thanks for stopping around and see you around the virtual water cooler).

I’ve been blogging for six years now. I guess you could call me an “old timer” and not just in the blogging sense: I’m most likely older than most women bloggers out there. (I’m 45. Nope. Don’t have a problem disclosing my age). Something happens when you get older – you just don’t care what people think.

And that’s my stance on this whole back-biting, jealously-ridden, superficial-driven blogging world.

I. Don’t. Care. What. People. Think. About. Me.

Would I LIKE people to like me? Of course! I’m a likeable person, quite honestly, but let’s get real, I can’t please everyone and I’m not everyone’s cuppa tea. I’m opinionated, I’m passionate, I’m arrogant and I’m a realist. Of course I care about people and issues, but I know where to draw the line. I’ve learned, over the years, that you simply CAN NOT please everyone so here’s what I’m thinking – why try?

I’m as honest with you folks as I can possibly (and safely) be given the venue. If it’s on this blog, then you can bet your bottom dollar that I wouldn’t have a problem discussing it in real life. (I might be a tad embarrassed because you don’t exactly go around and share your intestinal issues with just anyone, but if anyone asked, I’d tell them).

That’s my rule of thumb.

I also try and keep it fair whenever I’m writing about an issue. Being fair is hard and I like the challenge. Sometimes, (and it’s rare, but it happens), I’ll present the other side of an argument and it actually changes my overall opinion. I like bringing up all sides of an issue because I think it helps me (and any readers out there) put myself in another person’s shoes. I often think that’s the number one missing element when it comes to blogging and judgy people – empathy.

Are there people out there that dislike me? I’m quite sure there are. Do I lose any sleep over that knowledge?

Nope. Cause life is too precious and way too short to worry about what people think about me.

So I guess I have a little trouble understanding why people get so upset about the “haters.” There will always be haters – always. It’s inevitable. Why waste a moment fretting about it? Move on. Ignore them. Let me then wallow in their pathetic pool of hate. Who cares?

This is something I’ve never understood about women – the whole obsessing over what people think about them. Sure. I had moments when I obsessed … BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. But I learned, at an early age, that the energy required for such negativity? Was simply not worth it. I prefer to pour my energies into something a bit more productive, like LIFE. This gossipy, “he said, she said” mentality has ALWAYS gotten on my nerves. From day one. I’ve never understood why people (women) just don’t shrug it off and move on. A friend stabbed you in the back? Ouch. It hurts, of course, but chock it up to experience and move on. Don’t obsesses about it. Don’t try and over analyze it. There are some people who will never be happy, no matter what happens. There will always be people who are jealous of one another. And some people are just assholes.

Move on.

There are some women who worry that all of the haters will affect their sponsors and hurt their business plan. Not if those same women rise above the pettiness and show the world what it’s like to be classy. Again. Who cares what these people think?

Ignore them. Trolls liked to be fed – starve them of the attention they so desperately seek. Is it easy? Of course not! We’re human, we’re not made of stone. But chock it up to an exercise in civility and maturity and forget about them.

I love being a woman, but this aspect of my gender just grates on my last nerve. I won’t participate in this sort of trash talk or clicky group crap because it’s stupid and immature; I would rather surround myself with happy, well-adjusted, funny, easy-going women who know what they want in life.

I’ll pass on what’s left over.

P.S. Just read this wonderful post about “Wrecking the Blogging Community” by Temerity Jane. I rather like this blogger. We could be friends, I think.


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge

E is For Evanescence

Evanescence: : the process or fact of evanescing

Evanescing: to dissipate like vapor

(Sort of like our rights. Oh … DON’T get me started).

Love this word, and love this group.

This song makes me want to cry every. single. time. I. hear. it. So sad. So beautiful.

Lyrics to Evanescence – My Immortal

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge

D is For Diet (*gasp*)

Oh yeah. I’m going there.

Diet is a four-letter word – FAKE.

Fake security, fake hope, fake information – (Eat eggs! They’re good for you. Don’t eat eggs, they cause cancer!). It’s all about control, over you, your body and your pocketbook.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t watch what they eat, or control how MUCH they eat, in fact, I would argue that moderation and good food choices (in other words, don’t eat waffles for breakfast, greasy chips for lunch and round out the day with a dozen donuts) is one of THE key factors when it comes to losing/maintaining weight. (Along with moving – seriously people, you can’t lose weight and NOT exercise. I mean, I guess you COULD, if you stopped eating all together, but in essence, you need to burn more than you eat – so, smart food choices, watch how much you eat and take a long walk after dinner every day – POW – weight loss).

Diet? Is just a distraction from what you really need – discipline to cut back and motivation to get moving. Diet is a multi-BILLION dollar industry which feeds (pardon the pun) on desperate people looking for a quick fix to a problem that took months/years to develop. Losing weight won’t happen over night. It won’t happen because of some fad diet, it won’t magically happen because you took a pill … it’ll happen after YOU, and only YOU, make a conscious decision to break bad habits.

I despise diets mainly because of how they affect people. People have such good intentions, such HOPE, when they start a diet, only to be tossed into a pit of despair when it doesn’t magically transform them into their self-perceived, or unrealistic image. It’s HARD to get out of that pit of despair and often times, it makes things worse for people because now we can throw in a large dose of depression into that low self-esteem issue.

Take my advice and ignore the diets. Pay attention to what you’re eating and how much you’re eating and start an exercise program. And by exercise I mean start with something simple, like walking. You’ll be AMAZED how much better you start to feel, almost immediately, once you cut back on the amount (and portions!) you eat, and when you start working your heart.

Don’t let diet become YOUR four-letter word.

(*steps off her soapbox*)


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).

A to Z Challenge

C is For Cathartic

I have a thing for words. I’ve always liked them. And whenever I run across a word I …

try and figure out what it means by the context.

(You thought I was going to say, “looked it up,” right? Uh. no. I’m way too lazy for that).

I run across “big” words in my reading all the time. I can usually ascertain what they mean by how they’re used and if not, I”ll break down and look it up, but generally speaking, I figure it out.

Just don’t ask me to pronounce them. (Kevin laughs at my pronunciation. Thank God for the pronunciation feature on Merriam Webster).

I don’t remember where I first saw the word “cathartic,” but I liked the word enough to start using it whenever I talked to people. I said it in passing a few weeks back when I was helping my sisters-in-law throw a party and my brother-in-law was all like, “What does that even mean?”

“It means therapeutic. You know, doing something makes you feel better – cathartic.”

I could tell by his face that he thought I was pulling one over on him. Which made me wonder if I had in fact, made up the word. If, in fact, I had somehow misread it, or God forbid, had mispronounced it.

When I got home, I went straight to Merriam Webster and prayed that the word actually existed and that I didn’t make a fool of myself. (Again).

Cathartic: of, relating to, or producing catharsis – a cathartic experience.

Since that’s not helpful, let’s look at the meaning behind "catharsis":

a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension

Thank God. It was not only a word, but it meant what I said it meant.

Face saved. It's such a relief (fine, a surprise), when I'm actually right about something. AND, I will have to make sure I know the meaning of words before using them in the future.

Just don't ask me to pronounce them.

Do you take the time to look up “big” words? Do you use “big” words very often when you talk to people?


I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. You can sign up for the challenge here. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (Keep your posts short – not more than 500 words – to make it easy on visitors. I think there were about 1100 participants the last time I checked).