Category: Life

Life

We Can’t Control Getting Older but We Can Control How We Do It

Karen

When I tell people at work that I’m 50, (and that’s only if they corner me and phrase their questions so that I have no choice but to answer them directly instead of my usual deflect or avoid strategy), they are shocked.

I’m shocked. I still can’t believe I’m 50. It just sounds ……. OLD.

I don’t feel OLD. Mentally, I feel like I’m still in my mid-twenties. Physically? well, not so much.

I’ve always had pretty good health. Oh sure, I’ve had three feet of my intestines ripped out of my abdomen, I’m prone to headaches, sinus issues, and I’m pretty sure I have scoliosis which translates into back problems and one leg being shorter than the other, but overall, I’m in pretty good shape.

(Side note: Kevin told me the other day that he notices that I swing my right foot whenever I walk. That I’ve always done that. WHAT?! I never knew that. Now I’m super self-conscious to lift my right foot up whenever I walk).

I’ve dealt with these issues over the years by trial and error – I find ways to cope with these discomforts and have learned how to prevent them from reoccurring.

steps
Our weekly steps are usually this close, sometimes he pulls ahead, but I mostly beat him. Mainly because I’m on my feet most days at work. Most of his steps are on the weekends.

But then I went through menopause and suddenly, somehow, aliens have taken over my body and I don’t recognize me anymore.

My biggest issue is not being able to sleep. Which SUCKS because I’ve always slept pretty good my whole life. I’ve been somewhat of a fish, more than usual. I’ve always flopped around in bed my whole life but somehow, it didn’t really affect my sleep. Now, I am NEVER comfortable. We used to have one of those memory foam mattresses which was comfortable for about six months and then it was like sleeping on a marshmallow and I would wake up with numb extremities. We spent WAY too much money on that stupid mattress. And we kept it for about five years because, well, we spent WAY too much money on that stupid mattress. I HAVE to get my money’s worth.

Have you met me??

But after a while, I just couldn’t take it anymore. So when we started shopping around for firmer mattresses, we decided to avoid the super mattress stores and go simple – like Wal-Mart simple. Like, we bought a mattress that came rolled up into a box and cost $250 bucks simple.

And I have to admit, I love this thing. It’s firm, maybe just a bit too firm, but I don’t wake up with numb extremities anymore.

Now I wake up because my hips hurt. Or my legs ache. And when I get out of bed in the morning, the arch of my left foot is so painful I hobble around like I’m 90 years old until it just sort of works itself out. And once it stops aching, it doesn’t hurt the rest of the day.

In fact, I’ve been having all sorts of weird aches like that, my legs, my hips, my arms, my hands. So I started researching because God forbid I actually go to a doctor. And what good is that going to do anyway. He/she will try and prescribe medication and no thank you – I’m fighting that route for as long as I can.

I started thinking … I’ve gone through menopause. I am no longer producing estrogen but I take Flaxseed oil (that I read mimics estrogen) and a supplement that does a pretty fantastic job of controlling my hot flashes. One of the big things a woman loses when she goes through menopause is calcium. And Lord knows, I definitely do not take enough calcium in my day-to-day diet. So, I started experimenting. I’ve been eating cottage cheese every morning, (Kevin has been doing that for years and he’s healthy as a horse). And I’ve been taking a calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement every morning, too.

I’ve been doing this for about two weeks now and WOW, what a difference. My joint pain has all but dissipated though I still wake up with that weird foot arch pain so I’m thinking it must have something with the way I’m sleeping, or maybe my mattress is a little too firm, but I haven’t given up on that yet.

All of these crazy body pains/issues is different for me. Like I said, I’ve always had issues but now suddenly, I have different issues. I’m sure it’s because my body is changing, getting older, etc., but it’s been a challenge for me to keep up.

I need to get that resting heart rate down.
I need to get my resting heart rate down.

I could stand to lose about 50 pounds. (But then again, who can’t stand to lose a few pounds?). That’s something else I’ve noticed since going through menopause – I have a terrible time keeping weight off. But then again, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t been trying very hard, either. I could certainly eat less carbs and sugar and though I’ve been back on the treadmill, I need to use it more often throughout the week.

I had that little heart scare about six months ago. I felt a chest tightness, shortness of breath, nauseated and my left arm ached. I was quite convinced I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. They ran some tests and told me, no, I wasn’t having a heart attack and here, let’s shoot some Ativan into you so you’ll calm down and send you home. (I would LOVE to have some of that Ativan on hand, let me tell you). They sent me for a stress test and everything came back normal. My heart is fine, I had a panic attack. Too much stress at work – go figure.

ellipitcal
Fitbit charts my walking as doing the Elliptical, not sure why. Also, MUST DO BETTER.

But I’ve always been able to handle stress in the past, now that I’ve gone through “the change”, I feel like my body is turning into mush. It’s frustrating.
Kevin bought me a Fitbit for my birthday. It’s a Fitbit Charge HR. Kevin bought it for me for two reasons: 1. we earn points at work every time we walk 6,000 steps and/or if we have 30+ minutes of physical activity, which translates into money toward any health care cost we incur in a 12 month period and 2. to keep track of my heart rate. When I first got my Fitbit, my resting heart rate was in the mid-80’s, now it’s in the mid-70’s though it has been creeping back up there again. I need to do better about getting back on the treadmill.

That’s something else that has been different – my heart races. I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and my heart is beating so fast I almost feel out of breath. I have to sit up for a bit, (and most times fall asleep that way), in order to get some relief. It doesn’t happen as often as it did before I started becoming more active, but it does happen. I just focus on my breathing and force myself to relax my body and it goes away. I think I read somewhere that racing heartbeats was another symptom of menopause.

IT SUCKS GETTING OLDER.

But I’m not going to let getting older defeat me. I see people I went to high school with on Facebook and it always surprises me how OLD they look. And I’m one of the oldest ones in my class. I think people get older and they just sort of give up.

Not me.

My body is obviously changing and I will just have to change and adapt along with it. I will continue to dye my hair, I will keep my mind active, I will continue to listen to my body and treat it accordingly and I will fight this natural progression tooth and nail.

I’m not ready to get old.

I refuse to get old.

Relationships

Twenty-Six Years of Married Bliss and Counting

Karen

We celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary on May 26th. Actually, we didn’t celebrate it, we were both too busy working to really acknowledge the actual day, but we did go out and eat at Outback Steakhouse the day after our anniversary.

(Side note: We took a  cruise around the Hawaiian Islands last year for our 25th wedding anniversary – no, I haven’t written about that time yet … stop nagging).

And we used half of the gift card that the doctor I work for gave me for Christmas two years ago. (I had actually forgotten I had it. We used half of it so it would give us an excuse to go back a second time – we smart!)

It was a great dinner. I had steak tips and Kevin had a Ribeye, I think. We talked about possibly going somewhere for vacation this year  but I think I have him convinced to just keep it low key this time, stay home, save some money, pay off our homequity loan. This is going to make me sound spoiled, and I guess, since we’re being honest here, I AM spoiled, but I’m burned out on cruises. We’ve taken a cruise for the past seven (?) years straight – I need a break. Let’s stay on land for a bit.

I’m not going to say our marriage is perfect, how nauseating would that be, but we have a pretty great relationship. He spoils me and in exchange, I pretty much let him do anything he wants. Now that he has Roy to hang out with and who never tells him no, (and who worships the ground he walks on), he has a buddy to go do things with – go to garage sales, fix things around the house, projects, go fishing … everything that I hate to do. lol

In return, I get to do what I want to do on the weekends – keep myself company, read, write, take naps, it’s a win-win situation, to be honest.

Our wedding was pretty low key. Since neither one of us belong to a church, I shopped around for churches until I found a really pretty one and we rented it. We paid for our own wedding and we kept it cheap. (Side note: my mom made my dress – isn’t it pretty!?) But we couldn’t justify spending thousands of dollars on something that would last two hours and be over with. We preferred to save our money and spend it on the honeymoon (Cozumel Mexico).

A friend of mine did my makeup and hair, we drank punch out of  fancy paper cups and I wore ballet slippers because I didn’t want to be taller than Kevin. Kevin forgot to wear black socks with his tux so the photographer, (who nearly had a heart attack), had to put my bouquet of flowers in front of him to disguise his white basketball socks when he sat on the pew steps for pictures – good times.

I knew he was the one as soon as I met him. I didn’t think about marriage when I met him, but I knew what I felt for him was different than what I felt for any other guy. He made me laugh, he made me want to be a better person. He was frugal (he was going to school to be an accountant – DREAM MAN), resourceful, smart and sweet.

Our marriage has not been perfect, we’ve had our shares of ups and downs (7-year itch – that was a really tough, unpleasant year and that’s all I’ll say about that), but we grew, we changed, we adapted. I can honestly say we’re not the same people we were when we got married, we’re better.

What’s the secret to our successful marriage? Patience. Respect. Communication. Carving out time for each other. Really, what I’m telling you is nothing new. All of the marriage advice sites you read tips on are right – it’s about listening and appreciating each other and not taking each other for granted though I confess, we do that sometimes.

I can’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else. I have a very difficult time allowing anyone close to my heart, but I can honestly say that Kevin is near and dear to me and that scares me a bit. I was reading back when he had his motorcycle accident in 2010 and I can’t begin to describe to you the debilitating fear I felt when went to the hospital for the first time and saw him lying there so helpless – he’s the least helpless person I’ve ever known in my life. I think that accident also brought us closer – how can you not be drawn closer to a person when he relies on you to help him poop?

I think people regard marriage as throwaway events nowadays. “Well, if this doesn’t work out, we’ll just get divorced.” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard people say that and it horrifies me. If you honestly think that, then do yourself, your partner, and any future children a favor, don’t get married. If you’re already looking for ways to get out of a serious commitment before it even begins, there’s your sign – don’t go down that road.

We made a pact, we would never mention the “D” word. And we haven’t, save for that patchy 7-year itch period of time. Any fights we had, we cooled down, we listened to each other, we owned up to our own shortcomings and assumptions and we compromised. You have to be willing to swallow a bitter humility pill once, twice, a hundred times, when you’re married for the long haul.

I found this interesting bit on how to have a successful relationship from Tech Insider. Watch, learn, absorb, practice.

 

Life

Frequent Nosebleeds

Karen

I’ve always had nosebleeds. Ever since I was a kid, I knew that if I blew my nose too hard, or if I picked my nose, (not that I ever did that very often but come on, there were days when there would be a sharp booger poking the inside of your nose and what are you going to do, leave it there all day? Of course not), I would have bloody streaks on the tissue.

(And HELLO, by the way. It’s been months since I had the energy/motivation to write – aren’t you glad my first post in months is about disgusting things like nosebleeds? You’re welcome).

But this year, this year has been different. I think it started … back in February? I started getting nosebleeds daily.

D.A.I.L.Y.

And I’m not talking minor nosebleeds, I’m talking nosebleeds so severe it’s running down my face and I’m gagging on my own blood when I tip my head so far back I feel like I’m cutting off brain activity.

Did they start back in February? Maybe it was March, maybe in reality it was last week, all I know is, I’ve been having them daily for a while now. Well, maybe not daily, but four or five times a week.

It all started when Blake started complaining of nosebleeds. Now Brandon has always had them. He would have them so bad he would wake up and his white pillowcase would be bright red. He would have them so bad, I seriously thought I was going to have to take him to the ER a few times because I couldn’t control the flow.

But I don’t think he’s had them in a while. In fact, I don’t think he’s had any trouble with his allergies or nosebleeds since moving out of the house. He lives in an apartment, away from trees, more specifically, away from the four oak trees in our neighbor’s yard across the street. (He’s HIGHLY allergic to oak).

So Brandon having nosebleeds? Not unusual. Blake having nosebleeds? Weird.

I bought him some moisturizing spray and asked him to use it. He says that does seem to help but he continues to have them from time-to-time.

Me? I started having nosebleeds shortly after Blake told me he was having nosebleeds. Like mother, like son.

Again, not terribly unusual for me. I am prone to them whenever the air is dry and I’ve always had sinus problems. But the nosebleeds I’ve had these past several weeks (months?) have been … disturbing. And more than annoying because they tend to happen when I’m at work. I’ve been lucky so far, the “flows” I’ve had so far have been before clinic started, after clinic finished or off-clinic days. But one day, my nosebleed was so heavy it lasted 20 minutes. And that was the day it was happening so fast I was literally gagging on my own blood.

(TMI? Well, welcome to my blog).

And it’s always my right nostril that bleeds, never my left. Riddle me that one.

I finally figured out one of the reasons it was flowing so fast and heavy – I was taking baby aspirin as well as Excedrin Migraine, which has aspirin in it, because of my headaches. I took the baby aspirin because I was having heart palpitations (turns out they were actually panic attacks) and well, I have thin blood to begin with which translates into watery blood. In fact, my blood was so thin, I was spontaneously bruising. I had these weird bruises show up on my arms and I read somewhere that was a sign your blood was too thin.

I finally wised up and stopped taking aspirin. In any form. And though I still continue to have daily (mostly) nosebleeds, they aren’t lasting twenty minutes, more like five so I know my blood is not as thin because it’s clotting faster.

Now, if I can just figure out why I’m having these nosebleeds. I’m pretty sure they are tied to my sinuses because whenever my sinuses start squeezing and getting tight, I have a nosebleed. I’ve also been using my moisturizing nose spray and taking allergy pills, which seems to help, so that leads me to believe it has something to do with the air, allergies and/or sinuses.

I’ve found the best way to make them stop? Is just to lean over the sink and let the blood drip out and run its course. When the dripping slows down/stops, I stuff a piece of tissue up my nose, tip my head and breathe through my mouth. It stops shortly after that. Pinching my nose just makes it worse. (Though after doing a little big of research, I was pinching the bridge of my nose, not the soft tissue of my nostrils).

So yeah. I guess since I’m no longer menstruating, my body has to bleed some other way. (Just imagine what I’m like having around in real life? If you’re squeamish? Do not approach me).

We have a line of storms heading our way. I wonder if there’s any correlation between barometric pressure and my nosebleeds? I know my sinuses tighten up whenever there’s a change in the weather and there’s an old joke for people who live in Missouri: Don’t like the weather? Give it a minute. And for real, that is what it’s like in Missouri. Our weather is constantly changing.

I did a little research on nosebleeds for anyone out there wondering … and I’d like to add a word of caution: please take what you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. This should be applied to everything you read, but especially to any medical advice you’re seeking. I can say this because I work in the health care field and I can’t tell you the number of patients that come in convinced they have a life-threatening disease because their symptoms matched what they looked up on the Internet. Only a doctor can really diagnose what’s going on with you and if you’re that concerned, then seek your doctor’s advice. Don’t self-diagnose yourself. that will only get you into trouble and scare the bejeebees out of you.

So yeah. I’m dealing with frequent nosebleeds.

I feel like there’s so much to tell you and yet, there’s not. My life is the same day in, day out, but I would like to update you on what’s going on in my life. I’ve really done a piss-poor job of blogging this past year, actually, the past several years, ever since I started working at the hospital, but I will try my best to write more. I WANT to write more. I just have so little energy by the time I get home every night that the thought of using my brain any more just makes me want to cry.

Be patient with me. As I tell the patients I help who are frustrated and discouraged, “hey, life happens. All you can do is find ways to cope with it.”

Life

For a Good Deal, Call Kevin

Karen

Kevin has become a hoarder.

Okay. No he hasn’t, but it sure feels like he has and if you look closely, it sure LOOKS like he has.

Kevin and Roy haunt yard sales every weekend. Every. Weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, without fail. And to be perfectly honest, it’s sort of amazing how much junk stuff they have found that has actually been pretty useful.

For example:

Washer/Dryer $75 for the washing machine – they paid Kevin/Roy to take the dryer and they fixed the dryer for $12.
Pressure Washer: $30 – retail $275
Lights on stands: $10 for both – retail $35 for both
Hedger: $5 – retail $75
Dresser: $20 – retail $150
Six/Seven pairs of sneakers for Roy: $4 – retail: $60 (one was a pair of Nike Jordans)
Leather Cowboy boots: $5 – retail $150
Coats/Jackets for Roy, Kevin and the boys: $3-5 – retail: $40 average
Two ceiling fans w/ lights for Roy: $3 – retail: $75
Two ceilings fans for our house: one for $3, one for $.50: retail $75 each
56 inch TV (works perfectly) for $15 – retail: $200
Antique cabinet $20 – retail $100
Nightstand $5 – retail: $35
Two gamer chairs $2 / $5: retail $80
Two brand-new pairs of jeans $10: retail $35
Air mattresses for the pool $1: retail $5
Painting over our sofa $8: retail $30
IBM Thinkpad $1 (and it works like brand new!): retail $150
Countless DVD’s and XBox games: $.50 a piece.
StarWars DVD set $3: retail $80 (!)
TV FREE: retail $150
25 lb weights $12 total: retail $20 each
20 lb weights $10 total: retail $17 each
Free toolbox (it’s a red toolbox on wheels): retail $30
Shelves $5 each: retail $30
Powerstrips $1: retail $5
Laser printer $5: retail $150 (yes – it works great)

That’s what really surprises me about all of the stuff he’s gotten at these sales – they were all in new, or like new, condition. Whenever I think of garage sales, I think JUNK. And not just JUNK – JUNKJUNK. Like broken, missing parts, dings, scrapes, nicks JUNK. But honestly, God was watching out for Kevin and Roy. And here’s why I think that… Remember, Roy moved into the house with virtually nothing. NOTHING. And not a lot of money. He gets a monthly paycheck from the government every month and that’s it. And because our government welfare system is so messed us, he HAS to spend all of his money every month – he is not allowed to save any of it. And if he gets a job, he can’t work over a certain number of hours or he will lose his benefits.

Tell me that’s not asinine.

But I digress.

So, he has enough money to pay rent and buy food. He doesn’t have a lot left over for any extras. And remember, he’s not allowed to save his money so you can see our challenge – he’s on his own, doesn’t have a lot of things he needs and doesn’t have the money, or the permission, to save for said need.

Kevin and Roy started garage sale hopping. And it would ASTOUND me becasue not only were they able to find everything on their list and the things that Roy needed, but that the items they found were not only dirt cheap, they were in good shape. I think that’s a pretty big testament to Kevin and Roy’s faith. What are the odds that they found exactly what they needed, and it was in great shape, for dirt cheap?

Exactly.

No. I have not gone with them when they hunt for their goodies. Garage sales have left a bitter, BITTER taste in my mouth. I have nothing against garage sales, per se, but I grew up on garage sale stuff and hand-me-downs. Now mom, don’t take offense, you did what you had to do to feed and clothe three children. And might I add, you did a DAMN good job of it. Though I knew the stuff I had was used, second hand, I never wanted for anything, not really.

But when I left my family home to make a life for myself, I was DETERMINED I was not going to live on other people’s hand-me-downs. I wanted my own stuff, call it a pride thing, I guess.

So it seems almost like I’ve come full circle now that Kevin has been bringing home things from garage sales. And though I’m not entirely thrilled that he’s doing this, I have to admit, I’m impressed. It takes a lot of patience to go to ten garage sales every weekend just to keep an eye out for specific things. And he must be doing something right because he’s bringing home some pretty good stuff.

For example, the ceiling fan in our bedroom and the spare bedroom (Brandon’s old room) are from garage sales. He bought the one in our bedroom for $3 bucks. THREE BUCKS. And it’s brand-spanking new. And I like it. And it looks nice. And Kevin says every time he looks at it, he gets a thrill because he remembers stumbling across it at the sale and immediately knew it was a good deal and where he wanted to put it. If we had bought that ceiling fan from someplace like Lowe’s, it would easily be $70 bucks.

But I am concerned. He is wracking up quite a few things and though he finds places for these things, and a lot of times we need these things, we’re getting to the point that he’s having to be creative on where he’s placing these things. He’s talking about opening up an eBay store and running it with Roy which I’m okay with, but the problem with Kevin is, he gets attached to things. I mean REALLY attached to things. He has trouble letting anything go.

Hence my concern.

Kevin says he feels like a rich man because of all of the deals he’s found these past months. And now, every time we go shopping, I hear, “there’s no way I’m paying that much for that item when I can find it for a quarter at a garage sale.”

(Sound familiar, mom?? HA!)

I’ve married the male version of my mother. HAHA!

Parenting, Politics

Whose Fault Is It? Yours, Most Likely. Own It.

Karen

School-cartoon

It’s amazing how things have changed over the years, especially in the realm of education.

Once upon a time, there was this magical concept called personal responsibility and students were expected to do their homework, study, work hard, and get good grades.

When a student doesn’t do their job or work hard to get good grades it’s the teacher’s fault, not the kid’s incredibly flabby work ethic.

This lack of personal responsibility is why we have a future generation of self-entitled knuckleheads making a career out of being on welfare.

This applies to adults, too.

At the Moment, Life

Breaking Tradition

Karen

We didn’t buy fireworks this year. I don’t know, we just weren’t into it this year. In years past, we bought fireworks at a place where Kevin’s parents knew the owners and we would get a really good deal. The owners would pack us a bag full of goodies (because let’s face it, fireworks look the same and you really don’t know what they are going to do, but the fireworks stand owners know and are a great resource if you’re looking to get the most bang for your buck. [pun intended]), and we would split the cost with Kevin’s parents.

We’ve gotten some REALLY good fireworks with that arrangement for the past several years.

We would then have a cookout at Kevin’s folks’ house then shoot off our awesome fireworks. Me, Kevin’s mom and dad would sit on their pergola and Kevin, Blake and Brandon would run their butts off and light the fireworks.

Then, when it was over, we would all go out with bags and pick up the aftermath.

Fun times.

We did this for two reasons: Kevin’s parents live outside of the city limits thereby giving us a venue to blow our money [pun intended] and it gave us a chance to spend the holiday with Kevin’s parents. Because for whatever reason, Kevin’s sisters have never included Kevin’s parents in their 4th of July festivities.

However, we broke tradition this year. Money is tight and having us over for a cookout is a lot of work for Kevin’s parents, who are getting up there in age. Everyone agreed with this plan except Blake – he was disappointed. I think 4th of July is his favorite holiday. He loves blowing things up.

(That desire has always sort of bothered me, to be honest).

This year, Kevin’s parents came over to Roy’s house (i.e. the rental house) and we, (i.e. Kevin) cooked hamburgers and curly hotdogs. Kevin, Roy and Blake swam and Kevin’s mom and I sat on the edge of the pool and chit-chatted. Kevin’s dad napped.

When it got dark, we drove over to the nursing school parking lot and mooched off the spectacular fireworks show at the country club.

I imagine that will be our 4th of July plans for many more years to come. Cheap and easy.

And now it’s way past my bedtime and my eyes are drooping. I have a lot of chores and studying to do tomorrow before the boys come over to swim and then have nachos with us.

Happy birthday, America. You’re not the same awesome country you were twenty years ago, but we still love you and haven’t given up on you. You’ll be great again someday …

https://twitter.com/hboulware/status/617545345409548288

Politics

God Bless What’s Left of America

Karen

We have our American Flag hanging outside our house and I can’t help but wonder, will someone report us? Will someone in our neighborhood be offended that we proudly display our American Flag?

To which I reply: Tough shit. good-morning-merica

I’m so SICK of people being offended by everything nowadays.

Get over it.

People are offended because some whack-job worshiped a confederate flag and was high on anti-psychotic drugs and shot a bunch of people in a church (notice I said PEOPLE – we’re all PEOPLE, color is irrelevant), and now the confederate flag offends people so we’re going to go completely berserk and obliterate every last trace of the confederate flag from the face of the Earth.

Idiots. The confederate flag didn’t MAKE that nut-job shoot those people, it was simply a trigger for his crazy delusions. What if his trigger had been a black cat? Would we suddenly want to eradicate black cats from existence? If you need to be “offended” by someone, be “offended” by the act and the person who committed the act, not an inanimate object.

Geez louise people …

You have the right to dislike the confederate flag – I’m not crazy about that flag, either. I think it represents a sad, mixed-up time in our history. I have never understood people who buy that flag and then proudly display it. Why? Do they wish they could go back to those times? Well too bad, it’s not happening. We learned our lesson the first time. Right?

Right??

But I’m not offended if they choose to fly it. It’s their right to do so. And it does serve to remind of us of the mistakes we made during that time period. This isn’t about me and my feelings, it’s about other people’s CHOICE to make bad decisions.

People need to grow a backbone and stop being such emotional cry babies.

The only thing I think of when I see that flag is slavery. And how that’s bad. And I’m truly perplexed that we thought, at one time in our history, that having one set of human beings serve another set of human beings was somehow acceptable. And then I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders. I wonder more about the people behind these “offenses” than about anything else. People are idiots. What are you going to do?

Anyway, back to the American flag and our country.

I can’t get into this 4th of July. What, exactly, are we celebrating? Our freedoms? Our freedom to do what, exactly? Abide by the rules? Live under a supreme dictator or a group of tenured lawyers who have been given the right to make our decisions for us?

Freedom to “ignore its own laws and tear its Constitution to pieces?”

Freedom “to dismantle the institution of marriage in favor of legitimizing sexual perversion?”

What, exactly, are we celebrating nowadays? Our freedoms are slowly being taken away with each passing law and government decree.

If so, what’s so great about being great? Where is the optimism in that miserable greatness? Where is the hope for the future if moral bankruptcy, selfishness, confusion, stupidity, deviancy and failure are “great”?

This is why I’m surprised liberals are still out burning American flags. What are they upset about? This country has been reshaped in their image. They won the culture, the government, academia, the media, even the churches. This is their America. They own it. Yet they aren’t satisfied because liberalism, like its father Satan, is intent only on destruction and consumption. It will never be satiated.

You might say most of the examples I provided have to do with America’s people, not America herself. But the distinction is irrelevant because a democracy is only as great as its people. Meanwhile, our government is corrupt and feckless, and our political leaders are cowardly and self-serving. Yes, the Constitution is great, but it’s still just a set of laws. If laws are ignored, they might as well not exist. The Bill of Rights can’t make us great if we don’t follow it, just like your running shoes can’t make you fit if you don’t put them on and go for a jog.

So in what way is America great at the moment? Are we a moral beacon for the world now? Where is the rest of the world supposed to locate that shining light of moral clarity? Is it somewhere buried under the dead children and the perversion and the porn and the divorce and the drugs and the disease and the dependency and the Nanny State socialism? What about leadership in government, or education, or the home? Is American culture great in these respect

No, America Is Not a Great Nation. Not anymore.

I dare you to read Matt Walsh’s entire article. Read it completely through and tell me you don’t disagree. This country is slowly being flushed down the crapper. With every flush, we compromise another belief and/or ideal. Like a stone sculptor, decency is being chipped away, slowly, oh so slowly, and then suddenly, we see the finished product and wonder, what happened? How did we get here? What happened?

Like sleep walkers, we are suddenly shaken awake.

We got here by being outraged over the confederate flag. We got here by being distracted by Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. We got here by not paying attention to what our educational system is doing to our children. We got here by being too busy playing with the newest and coolest electronic gadgets. We got here by putting all of our energies and time into being offended by the stupidest, most insignificant things.

It’s like people don’t WANT to really know what’s going on. It’s like people purposefully look the other direction in order NOT to see and/or deal with the bigger issues. Because talking about big changes is too uncomfortable, it’s too hard. And now we’ve reached a point of no return – can you IMAGINE trying to cut benefits to people who now solely rely on the nanny state to take care of them? Can you IMAGINE overhauling an education system so that we get back to teaching children and not indoctrinating children?

We’ve dug our grave, it’s time to lie in it.

Why should we celebrate the mess we created?

I think Matt summarizes this hopelessness best:

Here’s what I do know, and here’s the hopeful part: Our priority has to be our families and our souls. The fate of the country or the globe has not been put entirely, or even mostly, in our individual hands. But we have profound jurisdiction over the fate of our families, the spiritual state of our children, whether our households serve the Lord, and whether we serve the Lord. That’s our hope for the future. Right there.

We can find greatness if we strive for holiness. We have to. We are entering an age where only the great Christians will spiritually survive. It’s a scary time, but if we heed the call to holiness, we can find immense joy. That’s what I want for my children, though I fear for them quite a bit these days. I can’t imagine what this country will look like in 30 or 40 years. Maybe things will have turned around, but honestly I really doubt it. So all I can do is hold them close, try to be a better father to them and a better husband to my wife, and equip them as best I can for what comes next.

I believe strongly that real persecution awaits us down the road. I think my children will face hostility and opposition and maybe even violence on a level I haven’t yet seen. We are heading into very challenging times, but if we keep our families together and our hearts with God, we’ll be OK. No matter what happens, we’ll be OK. And, by extension, if we pour ourselves into our families and into our faith, we might be able to rescue this culture and this country from the clutches of progressive annihilation. It won’t happen quickly, and I don’t know if it will happen at all, but I know there’s a chance. America is not lost completely. Not yet.

So find strength in the Lord. Love your spouse and your children like Christ loves the Church. Be a leader in your home. Be willing to sacrifice everything for your family. Be unwilling to sacrifice your soul for anything. Confront the reality of our current state and accept that you will be asked to endure a lot of pain and persecution. Pray. Remember what America was. Remember who God is. Remember who you are and why you’re here and that you were put here in this time for a reason.

God bless what’s left of America.

And may God have mercy on your soul.

Amen.