Category: AudioPlay

AudioPlay

Audio Post

Karen

How FREAKING cool is this?!?

WordPress.com has enabled a post by phone option – now, you can call a number, record your message, and it automatically posts on your blog!!

This is going to really come in handy when we go to New York!

You can find the instructions on how to do this on your blog here.

The only problem is, there is no editing. What you record is what posts. I wish it would go to the blog editor first, but hey, I’m not going to complain because this is too cool.

Thanks for listening!!

Talk to you soon!

AudioPlay, Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction: My Mom is (Not) Cool

Karen

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Fiction under 250 words.

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Paula laughingly glanced over at her daughter as she turned into the school parking lot. ”And then she said what?”

“Oh come on mom, don’t make me repeat it!” laughed Remi as she reached up to wipe a tear of mirth from her eye. “Sometimes, I wonder if she’s got a brain at all. I still can’t believe she said that. I would have DIED.”

Paula nodded in agreement as she carefully navigated the packed packing lot. Kids in various shapes and sizes suddenly appeared between the parked cars.

“I wish these kids would use the cross walk,” she mumbled.

Remi rolled her eyes and slipped her name badge lanyard over her head.

The women shared a smile as they basked in the good humor they shared a moment before.

Remi’s smile abruptly disappeared as she spotted her friends crossing the parking lot.

Paula grimaced. Here it comes, she thought. She resisted the urge to sigh. She knew, from past experience, that would really irritate her daughter. Remi already felt guilty enough without having her add to the burden.

The maroon Ford Escape made a smooth stop in front of the entrance. Remi opened the door and began to step out. “Hey guys, wait up!” Without a backward glance, she stepped out of the car and slammed the door.

Paula released her sigh. Her feelings weren’t hurt, but she was disappointed. It wasn’t “cool” to have a good relationship with parents. With her eyes focused straight ahead, she drove off.

Read by the author
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AudioPlay, Friday Fun

Dear So-and-So

Karen

Audio version of this blog post
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Dear Erratic Driver,

Look. I have a “thing” for stupid drivers. I do. I guess you might even call it an obsession, really, especially now that my teenage boys are on the brink of driving. But I can not excuse, or even tolerate, drivers like you.

Let me explain …

(And by the way, you better NOT be reading this while you’re driving or I will personally yank open that car door and kick your ass. Just sayin’).

I realize you’re from Arkansas. And at the risk of offending any other Arkansas driver out there that you might show this letter to, it’s sort of a “joke” with us Missourians that Arkansas people? CAN NOT DRIVE. I have no idea where this came from and perhaps it’s just a state-by-state thing, but people like you? Only CONFIRM the “joke.”

You are quite possibly THE worst driver I’ve ever had the misfortune to come across. And I’ve come across a lot in my old age, let me assure you.

Since I know you have no clue what I’m talking about, let me highlight your stupidity:

1. You do not stop at yield signs. You slow down, but you do not stop unless there is traffic coming. There wasn’t any traffic coming. How do I know this? Because I freaking looked. And when this yield sign is on a highway exit ramp? Seriously. DO NOT STOP. I nearly rear-ended you. And though it would have technically been my fault, it would have really been yours because you don’t slam on your brakes and come to a full stop at this type of intersection. Especially when you were going sort of fast to begin with.

2. What was up with the weaving? One minute you’re in the correct lane. The next minute you’re crowding the car next to you. The very next minute you’re hugging the shoulder. Were you drunk? Or were you on your cell phone? Judging by your head and hand movements? You were on the phone. Or maybe you had a drink or two and you wanted to share what it was like to be an idiot AND drunk, who knows. And even though you may not care? The other drivers around you care because you’re putting THEM at risk. And just because YOU don’t value YOUR life, I value mine. In fact, I’m quite fond of breathing, thank you very much.

3. Here’s a bit of advice – when you’re on the highway, it helps to maintain a consistent speed. One minute you were going 50, the next minute you were going 75. It’s not only annoying for the person following you, (that would be me, in case you were confused), it burns up a lot of gas. And though you may pimp yourself out for YOUR gas? I pay good old fashion money for mine and NEWS FLASH! Money is sort of tight right now thanks to a crappy economy because our (and I hesitate to call him MY president because I certainly didn’t vote for him) idiot president likes to spend it faster than it comes in.

But I digress.

4. And thanks. I nearly had a coronary when you realized that your exit was coming up, you were in the fast lane, no one would allow you to get over and you applied the brakes going 70 miles per hour, thereby forcing me to apply my brakes and freaking out the person behind me, who happened to be my husband, by the way. He was following me home from work.

Let me be clear. YOU DO NOT BRAKE ON THE HIGHWAY UNLESS IT’S AN EMERGENCY, not because you were too distracted (and dare I say too stupid to read the sign) and nearly missed your exit.

You must have realized you weren’t going to make it and that you were going to likely cause a several-car pile up behind you if you tried and I for one would like to thank you for at least having the presence of mind to continue onward to the next exit.

In conclusion, I would like to suggest that you take driving lessons and not be allowed to use your cell phone while driving because you’re a menace to yourself, to other drivers and quite possibly humanity, as well.

Oh. And I know this might come as a shock to you? But lady, you’re not the ONLY person out on the roads. We do not exist to accommodate your stupidity so wake the hell up, missy.

Sincerely,

A driver who would like to see her grandchildren some day.

AudioPlay

A Test in Endurance

Karen

I’m still way too uncomfortable to sit still long enough to write a decent post.

I can sit for about 30 minutes before I simply can’t take it anymore and have to go lie down and wait for my quivering muscles to stop twitching. Then, I get back up, do some stuff around the house until I can’t stand the activity and sit down for 30 minutes before the whole process starts over again.

This has been going on for a week now and IT SUCKS!!!! I’m so ready for my stupid back to stop hurting so the simple things in life, like walking, standing and sitting, aren’t such an ordeal anymore!

Anyway ….

I’ll be back soon with a post about my experiences with working outside the home, working in the home and staying at home. I’ve been making a list of places I’d like to work and I’m pleased to see that I can apply to most of these places online.

Oh yes. I’m going down that road once again.

But I’ll talk more about all of that later. Right now, it’s time for me to rest my back muscles.

In the meantime, here’s another song by my niece, Jil Powers. It’s Amazing Grace — with a twist. 🙂

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AudioPlay, Relationships

Hosanna

Karen

This past week has been … difficult. For those that don’t know, Kevin’s grandma (affectionately known as Nanny to the family) passed away.

We were braced for it, she was, after all, 87 years old and her health had been failing for a number of years, but it was still a shock when it happened.

Especially since we were out of the country at the time. We missed her funeral and we’ve been spending the past week … digesting a myriad of emotions because of this.

We’ve been over to her house several times. Kevin’s mother has been insanely busy wrapping up her affairs and going through her belongings – Nanny had rented a duplex and everything needs to be sorted by the end of July. Kevin’s mother even asked me if I wanted any of her jewelry, which I thought was really sweet of her to ask. (I didn’t end up taking anything – her bible and other precious items were given to Kevin to remember her and I just … didn’t feel right accepting anything).

Since we missed the funeral, Kevin’s mother gave him the memorial slideshow that the funeral home prepared for her. (I’d link to it, he posted it to YouTube for extended family, but somehow, I don’t feel like it’s my place to do that).

I burst into tears when Kevin started it — I simply couldn’t watch it. However, I did listen to the soundtrack that went with it and both Kevin and I loved the soft, gospel songs enough to ask who sang them.

jil-singing Imagine our complete and utter surprise to learn they were sung by none other than our niece — Jil Powers.

I’m publishing her full name because her and her husband (Brannon Powers. He has a YouTube video of them both playing together on his web page. They are such a cute couple!) recently moved to Nashville to try and make a go of their musical careers and I would like to help get their names out there in any small way that I can. I wish them both much love and luck — they are both such talented people.

And, unbeknownst to us, Jil was part of a band (The Forum) and they cut their very own CD: five songs of sweet, soul-moving songs.

I’d like to share one of the songs from her CD (I plan on sharing the rest with you in upcoming weeks – they are simply too good NOT to share).

This song was on Nanny’s memorial slideshow; it’s called Hosanna.

Do you know what hosanna means?

From Merriam Webster:
Etymology:
Middle English osanna, from Old English, from Late Latin, from Greek hōsanna, from Hebrew hōshīʽāh-nnā pray, save (us)!
Date:
before 12th century
—used as a cry of acclamation and adoration

I had to look it up because I didn’t know, either. 🙂

I can’t think of a more appropriate song to play for such a lovely lady.

Here is that song. Enjoy, and God bless.

Click the arrow to listen.