(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)
Apr 1: It was a quiet day at work. Everyone left me alone – BONUS. No one tried to pull a fast one on me being April Fool’s Day. Most likely because they know I don’t like surprises and when I am surprised I tend to get snappy and angry because DON’T SURPRISE ME. I’ve been taking my wireless earbuds into work on Fridays and slipping into my own world listening to music or some podcasts. My current podcast obsessions are:
Morbid: A True Crime podcast
“It’s a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! Morbid is a true crime, creepy history and all things spooky podcast hosted by an autopsy technician and a hairstylist. Join us for a heavy dose of research with a dash of comedy thrown in for flavor.”
It’s a fun podcast hosted by two women who I think are related (?). They have a lot of fun with these stories and often make me smile/laugh. I will say though, sometimes I just want them to get on with it the story because the stories are FASCINATING! Especially the The Dyatlov Pass Incident – episode 3 – HIGHLY recommend. It will have you scratching your head far after you finish the podcast.
“If you can never get enough true crime… Congratulations, you’ve found your people.”
I know, they are a bit morbid, (ha! see what I did there?), but they’re fascinating, are great fodder for story ideas and the best part? They’re true! People are weird, ya’ll.
Anyway. I’m enjoying a chance to decompress at work and it makes Fridays go way faster than they do. (Why does time seem to stand still at around 2:00 PM on Fridays??)
Apr 2: I’ve been hooked on Solitaire lately. But not the traditional game, but a variation of it on my home computer. I know it’s because I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and it helps calm down my anxiety and center my brain for a bit. It’s been nice.
Took my quiz today. I’ll work on my assignments later. This class has been pretty easy, so far. But then again, I do a lot of this stuff in my current job so …
I’m dying to ask Branson how his date went but I don’t want to be one of those mothers that breathes down her children’s necks whenever something personal happens to them. I’ll ask eventually, or I’m hoping he just tells me. I’m excited that he has a date, but I’ll be honest, I can’t help but worry about him. Women are trouble, especially women nowadays – let’s face it ladies – there is a lot of indoctrination and crazy beliefs out there right now. But I don’t want our boys to grow old without someone special in their lives so we’ve just been praying that whatever woman they end up with is kind, intelligent, self-sufficient and has a sense of humor.
Is that asking too much? I feel like that might be, actually.
Apr 3: Ready for this class to be over. I’m learning a lot but then again, I’m not really trying all that hard, either. It’s just a back-up plan if this healthcare gig doesn’t work out. And by “work out” I mean, the hospital doesn’t honor my SINCERELY HELD BELIF about annual vaccinations.
Apr 4: I was in a really pissy mood today. Everything and everyone were getting on my last nerve at work today. Nothing bad happened, I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with people today. I had one scoop, ONE SCOOP, of regular coffee in my brew today, (I usually dump three scoops of decaf) and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest today. I can’t tell you how annoying it is that I can no longer tolerate caffeine. What the hell. I had to take a baby aspirin to calm it down today. And no, I don’t have heart issues, but I am prone to palpitations whenever I drink caffeine, or get this, also eat dark chocolate. I’m assuming, because of the caffeine in dark chocolate. And actually, I don’t even think it’s palpitations, but my chest … vibrates. It’s hard to describe. I check my pulse and my heart is beating fine but my chest vibrates. It’s a very weird feeling. It doesn’t hurt, but it is uncomfortable, mainly because I don’t know what the heck is going on and it freaks me out.
Kevin got a freaking jury duty summons today! AARGH! We’re supposed to go camping at the end of the month. We’re hoping he can get out of it. One of the acceptable excuses is legal guardian and he’s a legal guardian for his special-needs uncle and has documentation to back that up so hopefully …
Apr 5: Worked a different provider’s clinic today. I always get super nervous when I have to do that because I sort of have a reputation for being a good, (decent), MA and I feel like I have to live up to that expectation. This provider, she’s a nurse practitioner who is just starting out and she asked me for some suggestions on how she can run her clinic more efficiently after it was over. She’s not terribly happy with her permanent MA and I went up to help gauge what I thought could use improvement.
I’m flattered that I’m asked for my opinion so much, I’ve been working there for ten years, I know my way around a clinic flow, but it’s exhausting and I just sort of wish people would leave me alone. I know that makes me sound ungrateful, and I’m not but … *sigh*
Apr 7: Sat by myself behind one-way glass today and most people didn’t know where I was, nor bothered me. It was glorious. I got A LOT done and felt relaxed. Though, my blood pressure was high today. I don’t know why some days are like that. I don’t feel particularly stressed. I’m still doing alternate fasting – my window to eat anything is between 1:00 – 6:00 though I’ll be honest, I have gotten lazy and have been consuming way too much sugar. I need to whip myself back into shape.
Kevin’s jury duty excuse was granted! That’s such a huge relief. I really wanted to go camping the end of April and now we can!
Slept with an ice pack on my arm last night. My upper arms have been A.C.H.I.N.G. Again. I have no idea why. Maybe I’m over doing the vitamins? Maybe it’s the flu vaccine? I don’t know. All I know is my body has felt more achy these past few years than in my entire life. Yes. I’m getting older. Yes, some of this comes with age … but I also wonder what else is going on. That’s another reason I’m DONE with vaccines.
Apr 8: Today was weird. Management asked me to sit with a fellow MA who needs some .. um .. fine tuning and I was happy to help. We sat together, we went over some stuff, (which to be honest, the lack of knowledge on her part for the amount of time she’s been with us was a little alarming, not going to lie), and I thought it went well.
And then everyone and their grandma came up to me later to tell me this person was crying and upset. She apparently thought she was in trouble because she had to sit with me so I could go over a few things with her. After she had calmed down, I found her and apologized for making her cry, that I was only trying to help. She said it wasn’t me, that it was management, which to be fair, management is not always diplomatic in their approach, but we ended up hugging, (and you all know I HATE hugs – I have a bubble, remember?) and we’re good.
But here’s the thing – it exhausted me. It’s hard navigating young people nowadays. I feel like they get butt hurt so easily and of course, do NOT know how to emotionally handle constructive criticism. I mean, who does? It’s not easy swallowing a humble pill now and again – trust, I’ve swallowed my own bottle of humble pills in my decades of working life, but wow – her reaction was a bit over the top. I’m not trying to imply she’s a wimp and/or a cry baby, like I said, it’s hard to look someone in the eyes and admit you’re not “all that,” but I feel like it’s a good indication of where we are with our young people today. And that concerns me, quite frankly. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but you have to be mature and motivated enough to accept you made a mistake, that you’ll learn from that mistake and try very hard to not make that mistake again.
I know we talk about how young people today can’t emotionally handle anything remotely hard nowadays but I had a front row seat to just how bad it really is.
I’m concerned.
Apr 9: Made reservations for Ozark Outdoors in a few weeks. I love researching campgrounds. I’d like to stay at some state parks but a lot of them don’t come with a sewer option and though it’s not that big of a deal overall, Kevin and I can’t make it through the night without a pee, or two, (or three), so it’s definitely a consideration. We’re tossing some ideas around on how we can get around that, the biggest option, of course, is to get a small gray tank to push under our camper and dump every few days. We’ll see. I haven’t give up yet but for now, we’re sticking to private campgrounds until we can come up with a solution.
Apr 10: Today sucked. I took my week five quiz today for my class and bombed it – 74%. Are you kidding me right now?? WTH?!
Side note: I have two instructors for this class. Apparently, they got to talking and one felt like the other one was too strict in his grading and after talking it over, they re-evaluated the grading system and I ended up getting an 83% after it was all said and done. It was one of those quizzes where the multiple answers could really apply to more than one case scenario, which I can see would be harder to grade but at the same time, grading should be a bit more liberal given the multiple answers. Anyway, I was happy they re-evaluated because it made my grade go up.
I’m ready for this class to be over because it’s tough working on a class after working a full eight hour day – my brain is absolute mush. I see they are offering some extra credit at the end of the class and I fully intend to take advantage of that option to give my grade a boost.
Apr 12: One of the MA’s put her two weeks notice in. I knew she was teetering on the edge so I wasn’t surprised but *sigh* here we go again. Who knows how long it will take to hire someone and guess who they will ask to train this new person. Again, I’m flattered they have so much confidence in me but at the same time – IT’S A LOT OF WORK. Oh well, more overtime.
My garage door spring broke as I was leaving for work. I didn’t know it happened until Kevin text me later. He said it wouldn’t go all the way down. He thinks he can fix it. I can’t tell you the number of times I thank God he’s a fix-it-kind-of-guy. So thankful for him.
Apr 13: Found out by accident I was expected to cover another provider on Thursday. The revised schedule went out and I never really paid attention to it, (I have a bad habit of ignoring emails), because it doesn’t affect me, right? Only, this time it did. My manager didn’t bother to come to me to 1. ask if I could cover this provider, and 2. let me know that she put me on the schedule to cover a provider. Lack of communication drives me nuts. I don’t mind covering but I need to know! One, because it’s common courtesy to at least ASK me and Two, so I can manage my time. If I know my Thursday is going to be focused on a provider other than my normal provider, then I can make sure certain things are done ahead of time because I won’t have time to do it later.
Apr 15: My left shoulder KILLED me today. In fact, the palm of my left hand went numb. I can’t figure out if it’s my shoulder or my neck. And I can’t figure out WHY my shoulders are hurting to begin with. It must be something I’m eating, or maybe I’m taking too many vitamins. I need to research some exercises. Maybe it’s because I sit all day at a desk with my arms on the desk next to my keyboard. Maybe I just need to focus on stretching my arms more, surely holding them in on position for too long is not good for them.
I ended up sitting three different spots at work today. I don’t have a desk. I share a desk with another MA who has clinic on opposite days than me. I have clinics on Mondays/Wednesdays, she has clinic on Tuesdays/Thursdays. But on Fridays, there is no where for me to sit so I just have to sit wherever there’s a spot. Super annoying.
Apr 16: Class is finished! Turned in a bunch of documents – a compilation of the assignments over the past several weeks. It was a lot of work but not really that hard. Looks like the last week is a “dead” week so the instructors can grade our final work and we have a chance to submit an evaluation for the class. I have a few suggestions. 🙂
Apr 17: Easter! I woke up and hit the ground running. I did some last minute house cleaning and made some carrot cupcakes, (that no one ended up eating – oh well) and my parents came over for lunch. We had ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans, black-eye peas and rolls. Mom brought over a really yummy broccoli salad, carrot casserole, (SUPER GOOD), and deviled eggs. She also brought over a cookie cake. It was a great lunch and we had some great conversation. Love my family!
Apr 18: Kevin took the trailer for a test drive with the new truck. He said it pulled easier than the Ford 150, but not as easily as it pulled with the Ford 250. That’s fine. I’ll take it. He backed it into the yard so all we have to do is drive it out. Backing that thing stresses me out but we’re getting better working as a team. Can’t wait for the weekend!
Apr 19: Super frustrating day. It was one of those days when you take two steps forward and one step back. The hospital updated it’s mask mandate – if you’re vaccinated and around other vaccinated co-workers you can take it off but you have to put it back on when around patients. If you’re unvaccinated – TOO BAD – you have to continue wearing them all the time.
Bwhahaha – yeah, that’s not happening. I refused to be treated like a second-class citizen. So stupid.
Apr 20: We had a group lunch after clinic today – we brought all the fixings for tacos. It was a nice lunch and it was fun to relax and have some conversation without the stress of patients around. It felt like our old team dynamic again and it was really, really nice. I really do like the people I work closely with – they are good people. I hope I can continue working with them after the Fall. In the meantime, I want to continue making memories together. We need to take more pictures together. I’ve been taking pictures of our group over the years at various times, parties, etc., and turning them into magnets. They are stuck to the white board in our little break room and it’s fun to look back at all the incredible memories we’ve had together. I hope we can make more. We’ll see if the hospital honors my sincerely held beliefs!
Apr 21: I was supposed to be off work today but I opted to go ahead and work it. I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be as far as finishing my work and I didn’t want to leave a lot of unfinished stuff for my coverage while I was on vacation – I think that’s a bit rude. I got a lot done and I actually left at 3:00 PM. It was a nice, easy, catch up day.
I’m burning through my vacation time because who knows what will happen this Fall. Yes, they would pay me for any vacation time I didn’t take if I were to quit but why? Why not take that time off now and enjoy it while I can? I’m done working myself to the bone – it’s time to balance some of this hard work with some time off so I don’t get so burned out and snippy.
Apr 22 – 26 Camping at Ozark Outdoors! I’ll write more about this soon.
Apr 27: Still on vacation but now it’s a staycation. I didn’t really have any plans after we got back from camping so it’s nice to just relax and do what I want when I want. I found out my final grade in my class today: 89.81. I should be getting a certificate in the mail in the next six weeks or so. I also researched some resume templates. I don’t have a resume ready – yet. But it’s definitely on my list of things to do. I think the more prepared I am, the less shocking this will be if/when I have to put my notice in.
I really don’t want to put my notice in. You can read my final thoughts on the class here.
Apr 28: Shopped around for ideas for T for nurse’s week. It’s the second week of May. Otherwise, a pretty lazy, relaxed day of doing nothing. It was great.
Apr 30: Got my stamps from Studio Calico today and I LOVE them. I will definitely be buying more stamps from them in the future. I also put my May bullet journal spreads together. I love working on this bullet journal. It’s so fun and I think the boys will get a kick out of reading them when I kick the bucket.
I also spent a considerable amount of time researching state parks. Wow. The popular ones are already booked for the rest of the season!! Granted, we would be going over the weekend because we can’t really go during the week due to Kevin’s client that demands all of his attention during the week, but still. I really want to go Johnson’s Shut In. My sister-in-law raves about it and the pictures look incredible. It’s also one of the few parks that offers sewer but sewer is only available in a handful of spots so you can imagine, they go fast! So, I bit the bullet and reserved a spot for four days next April – as in 2023! But that will give us something to look forward to and I’m excited to camp there. I just hope it’s not too rainy. I would rather go to popular places in the off season because .. well, it’s just more relaxing without a lot of people around. But you do have to deal with the cold and wet during those times. That’s okay, we’ll make do.
Another nice thing about state parks – they are a lot cheaper than private campgrounds. Like half the price. If you live in Missouri, you can find out more about the state parks here. If you live outside of Missouri, here is a handy link to get you started.
Thanks for reading!
Write From Karen 