The Light Within

5 Dec

Toby signed his name with flourish and stuffed the card into the envelope.

He smiled. He hoped the person it was addressed to would appreciate the message. He giggled softly when he pictured the reaction.

He placed the card next to his heart and stared out of the window with unseeing eyes. He wasn’t misinterpreting their relationship, was he? He thought back to their lunch the previous day…

“Toby! Are you done yet?”

He plunged the card into the bin of tangled up holiday lights. He whirled around to greet his mother, his cheeks burning.

The name on the card was just visible through the wires: Michael.

.

.

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Write up to 100 words, fact or fiction….

This is a themed writing meme hosted by Jenny Matlock. The goal is to write something that does not exceed 100 words (not including said prompt). The prompt is in bold.

12 Responses to “The Light Within”

  1. Jenny Matlock December 15, 2010 at 8:44 am #

    Wow. What a twist. I loved this. This is one of those SC’s that feels like so many more words then the 100. You really created tension and emotion perfectly in this little gem of a story.

    Thanks for sharing your talents with us.

  2. Tom Goette December 11, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    Wow, you packed a lot of feeling into 100 words! This was wonderful! I loved the great twist at the end! A home run!

  3. nimaruichi December 7, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    Superb! The buildup, and then the twist… such hope and trepidation…

  4. Malisa December 7, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

    Very telling indeed. I like the way you involved the reader into the heart of the character before you gave the twist at the end. Clever and creative. I enjoyed reading your story.

    I just posted my contribution. Hope you will stop by and read.

    Malisa

  5. cj Schlottman December 6, 2010 at 9:44 pm #

    This touching post grabs me in my heart. Great twist at the end and an even greater reminder to all of us to keep our minds and hearts open and pray that the day will come when we don’t have to hide who we are from our mothers.

    Namaste……….cj

  6. Teresa December 6, 2010 at 9:05 pm #

    I love it! Such insecurities and hopes. You’ve captured this beautifully.
    Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/the-closet/

  7. Cheryl December 6, 2010 at 7:50 pm #

    Beautifully done. You captured a moment I’ve seen play out.

  8. Judie December 6, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

    Great surprise ending. Now we want to know what happened!!

  9. gautami tripathy December 6, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    Great ending. I love twists..

    plateau

    And do get aboard the Poetry Train every Monday
    mornings and thereafter!

  10. Sue Anderson December 6, 2010 at 2:28 am #

    Excellent and surprising. Yet believable.

    =)

  11. Kat December 5, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    This was a really unique and original take on the prompt! You did a great job of conveying Toby’s feelings, really well written. Kat

  12. Robyn Engel December 5, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    Awesome Centus. I love the unexpected ending. It’s a good reminder to drop our biases, especially during this time of year.
    Thanks.
    xoRobyn

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